Friday, October 14, 2011

Best parental training ever....

Check your chart!  Has become the new mantra in our house at night.  We are working with someone in regards to our children's anxiety (and mom and dad's, but don't tell dad because we haven't yet) and they suggested that we have a chart.  They even drew the chart and a reward chart that goes along with it.

Let me quickly explain.  The Chart has 4 pictures for the 5 year-old who can not read and words for the eight-year-old who can.   Brush your teeth, put on Pj's, go potty...blah, blah, blah.  The reward chart is an old fashion thermometer marked from 1 to 25 with rewards earned about every 5 spaces.

Now let me say that this is not a new concept to me, but I have been resisting it for 8 years now.  I'm not sure why exactly I have fought this so hard, other than I am a little lazy and inconsistent and having to do anything everyday is torture.  And believe me - this is.

But as this person is describing the "rules" of the chart in front of the five-year-old (damn-it! because he is rules king, and he was listening!) I knew I was in trouble.  Not just because the five-year-old was going to hold my feet to the fire - but because I was required to have their "rewards" on hand.  That would require a trip to Target.  Do you know how much I hate shopping? Even at Target.

I'm like a squirrel searching for a nut when I hit Target. I get caught up in all the sparkly things, gadgets, noise, smells, people....I am soon lost in the underwear department when I was suppose to be buying Hot Wheels cars.  I'm now late for parent pick-up I have two new bras - that will never fit by the way - granola bars, a latte, and a new flashlight and of course NO HOT WHEELS CARS.

Needless to say that it took me a week and a half to implement this plan that said "expert" required I start that night.  (If you wanted me to start it that night buddy you should have given me the damn Hot Wheels cars.)  And even though Check your chart! works like some magic tazer zapping my boys in the butt because they jump up and run upstairs...they also will not stop asking for a reward.

That's when I realize this is the best parental training course EVER!  The said "expert" I am convinced is really Pinky and the Brain! They have found the key to world domination - one parent at a time.  Sure the kids are getting ready for bed, but who's really getting trained here?  I caught myself thinking after about three days, Maybe I should make a chart for the morning, and chores, and homework!!

Ahhhh - but I will not fall victim to the sinister Mastermind behind this plot.  No way! I will not be sucked into the mind control powers of positive parenting.  Because it will positively cost this parent the power.  I will tell all the parents of the world - Stop with the charts!
...and if you ever find me in Target, please return me to my rightful owner. Thanks.

No comments:

Post a Comment