Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Is it a lie or a tall tale...or a rebellion to their past??

I try very hard to instill good moral character in my children - lying is not an option here.  I have one son who can not lie to save himself and one that lies about everything.  But that's not what has me's my parents.

They can not retell a story or provide information without changing something. I used to think it was insignificant: they said it was $50 instead of $25, they said it was 2 hours instead of 4, they said it was 30 days not 10.  Is it insignificant? Is it OK that they can not get the facts straight?

It didn't seem to matter, until now. They are both getting older and Mom just went through spinal surgery and Dad is in the hospital for a large blood clot. Now it seems important, because it is up to them to be there for each other and get the facts straight. To hear the Doctor's words and be able to tell us what is going on without adding, subtracting, or multiplying. To quote their generation - "Just the facts mam."

My Aunt questioned my use of the term lying - she said "what you are talking about is just exaggeration and it's a part of their generation."  Little did I know what she was referring to.

I thought my parents were Baby Boomers - that is how they identify themselves. They are not- news to me. After my aunt said my blog really made her want to call me I did a little more research.  My parents are part of  The Silent Generation. I had never heard of this one, but after reading it made a HUGE amount of sense.

They are at the very tail end of a generation sandwiched between The Greatest Generation and The Baby Boomers.  Their generation was suppose to work hard, be seen and not heard, suffer in silence, and watch their back! (McCarthyism) But here they were raised, in my mom's case at least, with younger siblings who did anything but hang they head and hold their tongue.

At least in my parents case, I think they are caught between their head and their heart. Ingrained beliefs - and modern society.  I know they raised us to believe you should always work hard and they demonstrated that fully.  They also demonstrated that you don;t like work - you just do it. Complain over drinks later with the neighbors while you ignore the kids.  Supper's on the table when Dad gets home, the house is clean, and the dirty laundry is in the closet. With a smile on it's face. Saying everything is just fine.

I get it. Wait, No I don't get it. I will never fully understand my parents or where they come from because they don't talk about it. Everything is just fine remember. But I do hope that trying to understand will make it easier for me to let go of the little things and take care of the big ones.....Mom and Dad.

What happened to writing?

It's been a while since I've been in the mood to write.  I don't know that I would call it writers block. I have a list of topics and funny stories, just not in the mood to grab the computer and sit down to write.

Working more is part of it. It doesn't leave much time for the other things. Also that darn nagging feeling that I should be doing something productive - or worse - the idea that I should get to do nothing.

When did it become part of our culture that we have earned the right to do nothing?  And when has doing nothing ever felt good? For me it's only after working so hard that every muscle is screaming, or going so hard so long that you missed month without realizing it.

Summer is upon us and I hope that with the slower pace of life....comes the renewed joy to write.