Sunday, March 18, 2018

A message to my teenager son before you start High School


Girls will love you 
Boys will hate you
Teachers will test you 
Coaches will push you

Life will try and break you
and that is why I'm here

When you need a hand to hold
Or a place to rest
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Or a place to call home
That is why I am here

When you need to know what love is
Or why bad things happen
When you can't find the answers
Or even know the question
That is why I'm here

When you need reassurnace
Or picked up from the ground
When it's time to celebrate you
Or toot your own horn
That is why I'm here

To my teenage son before you start High School-

Girls will love you 
Boys will hate you
Teachers will test you 
Coaches will push you

Life will try and break you
and that is why I'm here

Friday, February 16, 2018

Solitare:The Game of Life

Like my mother before me, I taught my kids to play solitaire. Long before it was the only computer game that you could play while pretending to work, (Yes! I am THAT old I keep telling you) it was a card game that I played a lot. Mostly because I was always by myself, and also because I love the game. Especially when I got a little older and my mom taught me to play Vegas style. OhhhLaalaaaa

Actually, I was struggling in math and I think it was a ploy to get me to practice adding and subtracting. It was a good for this anxiety ridden partly OCD kid.  Once I learned Vegas style there was no turning back! Even when I said, "oh I'm not playing for money just for fun." I would find myself cursing at the aces to get their ass out of the deck so that I could at least over the cost of the cards. Sheesh. Is that too much too ask.

The Holiday's were good around here, it was a lot less crazy than the fall. A well deserved break. But boy did I pay for it in January. The month was crazy busy and I am still scratching my head that February is almost over.  It didn't help that we have passed around a cold or sinus infection or whatever this was and it literally took us down one by one.  I was the last to go.

The overlap between #2 son passing it to #1 son was a rough few days.  Everyone was snotty - in more ways then one. Tempers flared, exhaustion reined, and the world was not cooperating.  Toward the end of one of those long days I finally got out the lysol sprayed everyone into their rooms then kissed them all soundly and put them to bed.

As I lay in the dark looking at my Kindle with barely enough energy to set my alarm let alone read my book I remembered Solitaire. I busted out the tried and true.  Not really even paying attention I would start the game, click away, get stuck, start a new one. This pattern repeated so often I started clicking new game, if I didn't like the way the cards looked. No Aces? click. All red? click. 4 10's, how is that even possible! I clicked new game again, and again, and again. 
Just one WIN and I could go to bed!!

Finally frustrated that no amount of starting over was getting me that win I let go of winning and started click, click, clicking....and then it happened. I won. The last card clicked started that beautiful falling, shuffling, flying of cards all over the screen that says - "YOU DID IT!"

Just when I thought it would never happen, there it was in the most unlikely cards. I thought about how much this game is a metaphor for life. Since I really started this blog to leave my son's the musing of their mother I want to say to them....

Solitaire is a lot like life. While you may be surrounded by people, friends, and loved ones- the only one who can play is you. Sometimes the cards are good. Sometimes the cards are bad. Sometimes you play hard trying every angle possible, and still you can't win. Cut your losses. Reshuffle.  Sometimes you play for fun and the cards are easy and you win. Enjoy it!

Like any game; you will only get out of life, what you put into it.  And when you least expect it, it will surprise you. Enjoy the good cards and the bad because all of them make up the game.

PS Your Mom is always up for a game of  Peanuts!!

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Should we really rush to "fix" it?

I'm pondering this morning as I listen to the story once again of the Turpin family in California that had 13 children and then locked them up, literally, in the house.  There is really no details - which I do not want - no explanation - which there isn't one regardless and yet a Senator is already introducing or asking or politicking for more laws so this never happens again.

Should we really cater to the sickest amongst us?

That's what keeps rattling around in my head.  I feel like when something horrific happens the media rushes to get us "all the answers" and officials rush to "make it against the law".  My two issues are there is no reasonable explanation why two people have 13 children and then torture them.  All the experts in the world can pontificate but it doesn't make it better. And it doesn't make me feel better.  I have come to know and understand that as humans we need explanation. That we crave order in chaos.

Being the old woman that I am I think of it like this: When we hear that two parents have not only had 13 kids (Holy Hurt Locker Batman) but that they have locked them, chained them, and tortured them in their own house my brain is so overloaded it freezes and the hourglass starts to spin.

(trigger anyone?) This causes distress and I desperately search for the Escape key in my brain trying to reset. Reset! Reset!

That reset button can take of the form of NPR, Fox News, the internet, ( in my case pulling the covers over my head) or all of the above. I just keep pushing all the buttons hoping one will be the reset and PUFF! Life can go back to the way it was before I heard that awful bit of information.

I also have to wonder about that person that steps up immediately to take action to "make sure this never happens again". What's in it for them? Did their brain not get stuck? It didn't need a reset? It processed the information so clearly and quickly that it knew immediately what needed to be done?

Or did they not process it at all? I have to wonder, cause that's what this brain does. Did they even feel the depth and weight of the situation or did they just slide across like when you hit a patch of ice and almost fall but right yourself at the last minute. And ---- sigh----- you look around and puff up a little saying "Yeah - I goooood."

Is the person who rushes to action to fix it, really fixing it? Are they really thinking of those who are living it? I can not even begin to imagine what it will take for those children to comprehend what has happened to them, let alone heal.  This was not an act perpetrated by an unknown assailant (which is horrific)- these were their parents. The people who are suppose to love them the most and protect them the fiercest. What do they need right now?

Should California Home School laws change? Maybe. Should neighbors pay more attention to who they live next to and what is going on there? Maybe.  Should we really rush to "fix" it?

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Love note to my family....

Rethinking Marriage and Life

NPR - Fresh Air Dec 13th 2017

Have you ever heard something that literally hits you in the gut in that, "YES!" way, that "Why didn't I see that years ago!" way?

I didn't hear this whole interview I turned it on in progress and then heard something like...
Most of us will have 10 marriages in our lifetime.
Shocked I listened a little longer...
Some of us with multiple people and some of us with the same person, but as we change so does our marriage.....

I had to get out of the car as I was only going to the Post Office from my office to get stamps. But I was reeling. It was so simple. It was so true. It was something I already knew, but had never applied to my marriage.

Now, one caveat here - my husband and I are not dealing with infidelity.  But we definitely have had our UPS and downs. At times it feels like all downs but that is partly my personality to focus on the negative. (I know! working on it people)

When I was in HS and had to take the requisite Career class they said that our generation was the first of it's kind and that we would have multiple careers in our lifetime instead of just one like our parents. This was shocking to kids who's parents were mostly farmers or factory workers. Both of which only knew following their parents into lifelong footsteps.  I was different, growing up in town with two parents who had some college experience.  They expected up to go to college and maybe even leave town to pursue a dream.  The seed was planted. I could do more than one thing in life.

Years later I would even see several career changes play out in my own life, yet never had I thought to stop beating myself up for not having the perfect marriage one that was constantly loving, kind, wonderful, and full of sex.  I drank the Kool-Aid, bought the goods, listened to the almighty "they" who said marriage is easy no work needed or you are doing it all wrong.

I haven't listened to this entire interview yet so maybe the interview as a whole is not as powerful as the one minute I heard that told me to stop beating myself up for not being perfect every minute of every day. To remember that there are many amazing moments in my 22 Year (this month!) marriage and they outweigh the rest.

Happy Anniversary to the crazy Greek who has made my life a lot more exciting and beautiful than I could have ever planned.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Powerful? or Powerless

This is worth watching...
Gary Zukav with Oprah Winfrey

I am in no way trying to infringe on copyright for all 5 of my followers - just wanted you to see the picture.

Gary Zukav may not be a new name to you, or you may be asking yourself, Who is he? Among his many accomplishments is a book called The Seat of the Soul.  In this short but powerful interview, Oprah sits down with Gary to discuss his book and explain to those who don't know him what his work is all about.  It could be titled Soulwork 101.

There are many powerful moments in this interview but after being asked literally three times last week - What can I do about the current administration, I feel powerless?" I came across this on Sunday morning. It was like the Universe was saying - Here. We wrapped it up for you and sent it with Oprah. Enjoy.

What I always find so amazing and totally cool is not only that I was asked the same questions by three people in one week, but I had the same answer all three times. And it is totally in line with what Gary Zukav is saying in this interview.

True power is not in Oval Office. That is a perfect example of powerlessness.  I have trouble watching and listening to Trump speak not just because of what comes out of his mouth, but because I am an Empath and Donald Trump is a very troubled person. It oozes out of him so violently its like watching a volcano erupt. I can not watch that kind of spewing without absorbing some and that is  no more healthy than me standing 100 feet away from Pompei.

All three people asked me "What can we do about this administration?" And all three times I said this. "I don't know. However, if my thoughts become things (Mike Dooley) then I am going to continue to hold positive thoughts for the kind of world that I want to live in and know that I am not alone."

But for my sister, as well as others, who don't really want to sit in meditation asking the Universe to fix what we broke what can we do? (I just wanted to give you an awesome mental picture of me dressed in robes sitting in Lotus position waiting for the next Election.) 

I think it's time to remember that our government is securely grounded in WE the People. GO VOTE! Our township election in November something like 25% of eligible voters turned out. How can we complain about who is elected if you didn't vote? Get involved locally. Start there and work your way up.  I know that I have been saying for years "I'm not political" because politics has become such a dirty word.  They are so gross I didn't want to be associated with any of it. But the truth is I am political. I am concerned. I do listen and care and want change. I just didn't want to get involved. I was afraid to speak out for fear of what people might think. Hmmm...maybe they will think I care.

We were very clear with our children before this election that no matter the outcome - it was not the end of the world. Well, now it's time to cash that check.  It's time to speak up - Maybe even Tweet! Ok, no. No tweeting please. Real sentences for goodness sakes.