Saturday, January 29, 2011

Wii must go, now..

After three months of trying to manage the fits, tantrums, screaming, manipulation, and non-stop whining about the Wii my husband and I have adopted a "weekends only" policy for the Wii.  And even that is contingent on behavior, considering how often the boys are wailing on each other.

So today, after a monumental second win for the seven year-old's basketball team, and the four year-old's gentleman behavior, a one-hour hike, the completion of all homework, and a lecture I gave in and let them have an hour of Wii.

Low and behold what happened in the end?  They not only screamed at each other almost the entire hour but when I said time's up, they came upstairs screaming irrationally about everything.  I asked the four year-old if he'd been picking at his lip again as it was bloody and raw.  "NO! AIYA DID IT! I SAID STOP THE GAME AND HE DIDN'T AND THIS HAPPENED!"  (No I didn't forget the caps lock, he was yelling at the top of his lungs and he's got a good pair, promise)

The seven year-old went to the TV straight away and tried to turn it on and I said no. He returned with "THAT'S NOT FAIR YOU TREAT ME LIKE A SLAVE!" (Also said with great projection thanks to all the damn exercise we get.)

The four year-old stayed within 6 inches of me for the next 25 minutes jumping up and down and screaming.  The seven-year-old would stay quiet for 3-4 minutes and the come over and say this is what you look like, and then proceed to jump up and down and scream incoherently at both of us.

I wish I could tell you that I kept my cool, used I statements, Love and Logic, or 1-2-3 Magic.  I can not.  That would mean reading one of those parenting books and we've already been through that, A? I threw a tantrum of my own - a mommy tantrum as a friend calls them.  That's when I blew it, I said, "I'm going to thow the Wii away it makes you all crazy."  That's when they both lost it, throwing themselves on the floor, on me, screaming, crying.

We finally did salvage the evening but I was determined to find out if there is scientific proof that the Wii is causing brain damage.  Here are the signs.  Hold onto your hats, because I don't think the Wii is the only activity that is causing brain damage.

For parents who are concerned about the possible risk of seizures, it may be helpful to observe the child during the game and watch for signs of possible seizures:
  • brief episodes of blank staring, during which the child seems momentarily frozen in place
  • rapid blinking or twitching of the mouth or face
  • jerking movements of other parts of the body
  • loss of attention
  • brief inability to talk or respond
  • reports from the child that things look, sound, smell, or feel different than usual
According to this, I am also a possible cause of seizures not only in my children but my husband.  All three boys in this house exhibit these behaviors when I speak to them.  Maybe I should throw myself out.

Two in a Row?? YES!

Keep your fingers crossed people - we are off to another basketball game!
Follow me on Twitter (just learning so bear with me!!)

They Won - a hard fought Super close great game!! 10-8

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What does that say about me?

I had a really busy week last week - socially.  That is unusual for me.  I generally only get out once a month, to Bunko.  But I caught up with a friend on Tuesday night, Bunko was Thursday night, Girls Night on Friday, and Saturday a surprise 40th birthday party for someone.

I'm now sick.  But it was all worth it.  Tuesday and Thursday were more about nurturing my soul and relationships that keep me sane and whole.  Friday and Saturday were more social, meeting new people and developing relationships.

All of these situations include talk about our children.  The element that binds us: soccer, baseball, preschool, grade school.  The topics reiterate, the conversations refresh, and once in a while something stands out.  An unexpected compliment or passionate response or a very alternative point of view.

One thing that came up several times where parenting books.  People mentioned reading this one or that one, quoted them from memory, or attacked them vehemently.  It made me think, Have I ever read a parenting book?  I have heard of them, I've perused them, I've been given them.  But I don't think that I have read one - cover to cover.

What does that say about me?  I am not so egotistical to think it means I've got it all wrapped up that's for sure.  I just had a conversation with a friend the other day about how badly I suck at this job sometimes.  Maybe that's why I am thinking it doesn't speak well of me that I am not reading the latest parenting how-to.

But I am reading a great book about baking and the author includes recipes throughout which make me salivate and smell good things baking in my own oven.  She also talks about being a mother and the inadequates we feel when we can't help our babies and the loss of dreams we thought we would accomplish no matter what.

That I can relate to, while I bake these muffins that sound amazing.

Saturday, January 22, 2011


Great job Bad Boys! They won their first game by one point today 17-16!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Is this as good as it gets...

Yesterday before the big storm arrived I went to the Grocery store with the rest of the world.  Problem was, I didn't know it was suppose to snow until I got there with all the other crazies.  I mean people. Did I say that out loud?

So after picking up bread, milk, and fruit which I can't seem to keep in the house for more 24 hours I got out to the official vehicle of the suburban soccer mom -my minivan.  I loaded in the groceries and jumped into the drivers seat.

As I always do, I locked the door and grabbed the seat belt.  Doing this I was gazing out at the car parked opposite mine.  It was a small smart two door gray car.  In the passenger seat sat a gentleman obviously over 65 but smartly dressed with a collared shirt, leather jacket, and glasses.  He must have noticed my pause to get myself situated and taken that as a sign of interest.

As I reached for my list to check the next stop I see the man mouthing something, curious I looked one more time and saw that he was mouthing the words, "Hey Baby! You want some of this!" Then he proceeded to lick his lips and flick his tongue.

Really? Is this as good as it gets? A seventy year-old pervert making goo goo eyes through the car window?

I can take this two ways, the anti-aging cream I bought for myself at Christmas isn't working, or I'm Hot in Cincinnati ;-)

Friday, January 14, 2011

Crime and Punishment

What do you do when your four year-old plots a crime?  Let me set the scene.

It's Daddy's fortieth birthday, so we ran to the Dollar Store for a Happy Birthday balloon.  As soon as we walked into the store he went straight for the Mario candy bomb he saw a month ago while Christmas shopping.  I said no and we moved on, he picked out balloons and I waited for them while he wondered around the store a little bit. 

He came up then and said "Mom look I am holding one hand with the other."
"Thats' cool." I said not paying much attention as we grabbed a few more favors.  He's still holding his arms crossed over his tummy.  We had to wait in line quite a while and I started to praise him for being so polite, standing still, looking with his eyes and not his hands.

After she rings everything I said, "Do you want to carry the bag?"
"No, you do it." Well, alrighty then. Still not paying attention!!

On the way out to the car I thank him again for his good behavior and he asks me to let him do his seat belt all by himself.  I am so proud! I've been working and working on this skill, pleading at times with my hands full "Please Honey just try to do it yourself."  Hurrah I've gotten through to him!

Driving home he tells me he can get out of his seat by himself too.  "Awesome Big Guy!" Boy this praise things is finally working with him, I'm on to something here.  And thank goodness because as we pull up there is a someone waiting for me that I didn't expect and I get a little flustered.  I open the door for him he does the rest, 5 minutes later in the house he comes to me with something in his hand.

"Look what I found mom!"
"Did you steal that from the store!" I shriek in horror.
"No, I had it all the time."
"You you didn't, I know I never bought that."

The waterworks start.  My friends have already assured me I said the right things, but honestly, I was on autopilot.  All I could think it, you little thief.  You plotted this.  That's when he says still blubbering, "I was feeling sneaky, and I knew I would steal something! That's why I didn't want to go to that store!" 

And yes, you bet I took him right back to the store where he had to hand over the candy, the dollar, and an apology.  The clerk even made him pinky swear never to steal again.

As we pulled into the school parking lot, he says to me, "Mom, what is a pinky swear mean anyway, I mean weally? it doesn't mean anything."

I'm still feeling a little queasy, and boy do I have my eye on this one. 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Careful what you wish for!

We've all heard this saying and if you have children you have even resorted to saying it.  Well, I really gave it to myself the other night.  I was tired of hearing myself talk, "Sit back down, eat your dinner, put your dishes away, no toys at the table".  Blah Blah Blah.

"Since you to don't want to listen to me, Why don't you be the parents, I'm done!"

Feeling over confident that they would snap back into shape I sat back and waited.

The seven year-old looked like he was going to cry, the four year-old let a "Yahoo!"  OK, didn't see that coming.  "I'm the daddy, let's go play Wii." With that he pushed away from the table and shot downstairs like a bolt of lightning.  The seven year-old just stared at me with eyes as big as saucers as if to say, "What just happened here? Can I really go?"

Et tu, Brute?

They may have won this one, but I'll be ready the next time, I think.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

So that's what church was for!

I just had an Ah-ha! moment.  We were trying to have a nice family dinner since my husband got home at 7 versus 8:30.  Before he even got to the table the boys were fighting and I was yelling.  Three of us actually took several bites, my husband and I were trying to divert attention from the screaming four-year-old that wasn't eating but had already left the table.

We spent the next 25 minutes alternating between reprimanding, scolding, consequences and conversation starters, acknowledgements, and complimenting.  Needless to say we were both exhausted and dinner still ended with one in his room and the other in tears.

"What have we done wrong!" My husband cried in dismay.  I asked him to remember how hard it was to be 7 and 4.  To come down off the Christmas high and return to school and some routine.  "You are probably right, you always are." was his reply in my head.

As I was cleaning up the dishes I was thinking how many times they said at the table, "This is boring. I don't like this.  I wanna go, I don't wanna stay here!!"  And I couldn't help but think in my head - "So? Suck it up!"  How many times have I gone to dinners, parties, or functions that I didn't want to go to.  Not to mention work!  But children can't relate to my world, lack of life experience.  Ok? Did I have to do things as a child that I didn't want to do?

Heck Yeah! Church.  For me sitting in church was a lesson in patience.  I didn't learn to sit still and focus my attention until I was at least, wait, let's face it.  I'm almost 40 and still can't sit through a church service and focus.  I make groceries lists, start blogs, and write letters on the bulletin.  I people watch and at this point in my life, sometimes get up and leave.  I'm the parent now, no one to tell me what to do.

It's been a long week, they are tired, and I know that it's really about just that; they are sick of everyone telling them what to do.  I get that.  I'm sorry boys, it doesn't really get any better than this.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Postcards from FL

My 68 year-old father has a new laptop.  My parent are wintering in Florida this year, for real this time (I'll explain that whole thing another time) and my dad has been sending emails to keep us all up-to-date.  The emails are very funny, on so many levels, but the funny thing was yesterday my sister commented on Dad's "postcards".

The emails go something like this:

how are you doing is it cold up there are the boys ready for christmas is mom ready dad is always ready i'm working on votzkes boat every day from 9 to4 but i think today we got it done although hell find another job tomorrow we miss you and love you give my little buddies a hug and kisses love dad
(oh yeah, and nothing in the subject line)
They make me giggle because of the stream of consciousness, no punctuation, and lack of capitalisation.  They make me smile, because that is my Dad.  If you were to call him it would go something like this...
Hello this is Jim!
Hi dad, how are you?
Finer than frog hair, better than if I had my right mind.  How are you?
Good.  What are you up to day?
Well, I'm on a high level mission.  Got people to see, places to go, things to do.  Votske's got me working on his boat, needs a new pull so we gotta get that fixed, then we're gonna need lunch, than we gotta see if the fish are biting, then I'll probably have to take a nap and a sh!t, not in that order,and then you're mom and I will get dinner, watch TV in separate rooms and go to bed.  What are you doing?
Smiling..  Because that's my dad.  I love that he has finally embraced technology - on his terms.  And I love his postcards from Florida.