Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A note to my husband from his "car"

I am not a Ferrari. I do not turn over on the first start.  I do not go 0-60 in 3.3 seconds.

I am an old Ford.  I need to be keep in the garage where it is warm, maybe even under a blanket.  You need to start me up 20 minutes before you want to drive...and I may not turn over on the first try, or even the 10th.  You need to be kind and loving and gentle and SLOW.  You need to show a lot of extra TLC because the engines always cold and the oil is always low and yes, the tires need replacing but not on our budget - don't bother checking them.

So stop trying to drive a Ferrari! I'm just an old Ford, and if you take the time to treat me right, I'll promise to take you where you need to go.  You might even find you enjoy the ride, even if it's slow, we still get to the same place.  This way you just get to see a little more scenery.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Tail of Two Bunnies....

When you are married to a Greek, you get to celebrate two Easter's.  The normal Easter that most of America celebrates and Greek Easter usually the weekend after.  David Sedaris who is 1/2 Greek says that Greeks celebrate the week after because all Greek are tight wads and want to get their Easter grass half-price.  (He's totally right.)

Anyway, with Gia Gia here with us this year I know that we will REALLY be celebrating Greek Easter in style, but I couldn't short my kids the fun Easter, the normal Easter.  The one where you get to color eggs, then the crazy Easter Bunny hides them while you are slpeeing along with 200 plastic ones filled with candy and money and a big honking basket full of dollar store toys made in china.  The greeks color all the eggs one color then sit around smashing them against each other to see whose can last the longest. Yippee.

24 hours before Easter my husband says to me, "I'm going mountain biking in the morning early, so I'll be back around noon."  Wait just a cotton tailed minute mister! You don't take off on Easter morning - that would be like saying to the kids on Christmas morning I'll be back by noon you can open presents then. No way!  He didn't get it, he was quite frustrated and then obviously no help in filling or hiding the 100 frickin' plastic eggs.

At 11:30 Saturday night while he's trying to get frisky I'm hiding eggs all over inside the house because I'm too tired to traipse around outside with a flashlight hiding them in the damn lawn.  Then I realize I have to hide the baskets yet and don't want to set the alarm to get up before the kids to try and hide the hard boiled eggs outside.  Do you know what this lazy ass bunny did? I left the boys a note from EB saying if they liked the game of colored eggs so much, hide some for each other outside.

So much for a normal Easter.

What a day!

So I started off the day - only the second since spring break mind you - getting everyone out the door including myself. (Which was not easy) But not after turning on the computer and sending 3 emails in 6 minutes none of which were about me. 
Then I head to the school for 3 hours of library duty, along with Garden committee work to finish, then pick up the Kindergartner and head to the Public Library where all our books are now overdue.  After that it was home for lunch, review and send the taxes, finish my husbands receipts so that he can get paid, answer more emails and take the kindergartner with for a mad dash through the grocery store because all the other adults in my house are napping. 
Return home to put groceries away, write a note to the third grader threatening him with future imprisonment should he not get his homework done before he turns the TV on and zip back to school to catch librarian before she leave because I need a document off her computer and attend a 3:45 meeting. 
Home at 5:00 where dinner is made, children are safe, and homework is done. Nice! for about three minutes until I order the TV off, then ask "How was your day" to which the third grader melts into tears.  Recess is once again the bane of his existence so we spend 45 minutes trying to solve the problem with the help of the kindergartner because HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. Just ask him. Including why the refrigerator is spouting water like the fountain downtown.
That's when I send them outside to play and make a few phone calls to see if I can take care of part of the recess issue while sopping up water.  The Kindergartner sneaks in seeing that I am on the phone and cleaning up water and takes the opportunity to score apple juice without asking which he ends up dropping breaking the cap and spilling a half gallon of apple juice on the floor.
That's when I finally decide to open the bottle of wine that I bought for Easter and the cork won't come out.
I go down to the neighbor's house and when she opens the door I just show her the bottle, she got the cork unstuck and shoved a straw in the bottle.
Good Night.