Monday, September 27, 2010

Airplane instructions

After yet another ridiculous fight with my husband I am up at 2:00 in the morning trying to sort out my feelings. That's when it dawns on me - Do you know who the flight attendants are talking to when they give the instructions: "Place the mask over your face first in order to help anyone else around you."


Otherwise we would instinctively put the mask on our child, and elderly seat mate or even a dumb ass husband Fight or no Fight before we would put it on ourselves. What is wrong with us?

Why are we fighting, forget it! You don't really want to know and honestly I can't even remember now what the original issue was because four hours later I'm now pissed about a damn oxygen mask.

If you are married you know, we all fight over stupid things, for stupid reasons, and at the most stupid times. Generally it has to do more with stress, or kids, or lack of sleep - from stress and kids. But mostly it has to do with sex.

Twenty three million Viagra commercials later you would think they could come up with something for women. Do you know what the flight attendants should say: "In case of an emergency, should the oxygen mask drop from the ceiling, place it securely on your wife first if you ever want to get laid again."