Reality TV

Have you ever felt like reality tv could be made 100x better if it were actually reality? Like this morning!

I think not only could most women relate, they would have sympathized, giggled, maybe even have said while pointing earnestly at the tv - that's my life.

My husband gets up at 5:00 a.m. He wakes the 4 year-old everyday. The four-year-old then waits until after my husband has left because that is when the child is FULLY awake and comes to get me.

Last night we had a new 13 year-old babysitter from down the street. She put the four-year-olds diaper on backwards. So at six a.m. I am woken up to crying because the diaper has exploded and he is wet. Which means so is his bed!

I strip him down, tell him to finish peeing then get in my bed. Still crying, "I can't do that I can't do it it's too dark, I'm too tired, I want my daddy, I need clothes...." FINE! I take the child into my bathroom turn on the night light hold his penis, shake, plop him into my bed. I head off to the boys bedroom for PJ's and to make sure that the Tooth Fairy that gets up at 5:00 a.m (and calls himself a man, ha!) has left money. There is a radio going, their Christmas/night lights are still plugged in, NO TOOTH FAIRY.

I get the PJ's throw them on my bed, pray the child is back asleep already. no luck. "What are you doing, are these my clothes, I need to get dressed, wheres my daddy?" Nothing, yes, I know, only God has that answer right now!

I am standing at my husbands dresser frantically searching threw the underwear drawer in the dark for you guessed it - money. So original right, money in the sock drawer. I found luggage locks, a broken ipod shuffle, keys to the house we owned 7 years ago, coins from ancient Greece, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!

The four-year-old is still talking to me. GO BACK TO BED! I go back to the boys room and the seven -year-old is sitting up in bed rubbing his eye. Seriously? I lay him down and telly him it's not morning, I slide under his bed and steal his "wallet", gets his hiding places from his dad, and take what ever I can grab - $1.75. I slip it under the pillow, but can't find the tooth. Gingerly I slip under the pillow again and feel the plastic bag. I tiptoe out and head back to my bedroom.

I put the bag in my nightstand, dress the four-year-old, answer six more questions, and try to go back to bed. Then I realize the seven-year-olds alarm is going to go off in 15 minutes - Oh no your not! I slide back out of bed and go unplug his alarm. Then I go back to my bed and lay my head down thinking please 30 more minutes.

The four-year-old never stopped talking or moving for the next hour when the seven-year-old got up. We get downstairs and in walks my husband whose been up for three hours - "GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! IT'S A GORGEOUS DAY! HOW IS EVERYONE!" (He never talks quietly)

Where is the camera when you really need it?