Did I just say that?

It is amazing, after becoming a parent the things that have come out of my mouth. Some are all too familiar because they are lines used by my parents and some just make you stop and think, Did I really just say that?

Most of these instances are in response to something that your child has just done or said to you, that you can not quite believe. We have quite a few examples...

When my seven year-old son got into the basement refrigerator on a hot day and told his brother to shut the door. He didn't know the light would go off, and that he would be stuck. Thank God I was standing five feet away and heard the screaming and had to say, "Don't ever get inside a refrigerator."

The boys used to take a bath together and always had quite a good time. It's just that the seven year-old is very big for his age and takes up the whole tub so we had to stop. Also after the night that I ran to get something off the stove that I was burning/cooking and came back to find the little one with his penis stuck in a toy ship. That night I had to say, "You only get one of these boys, better take really good care of it. That means don't stick it in anything you can't get it out of."

My husband later explained to me that a penis is not like a cat. Cats will not go in anywhere that their head doesn't fit because they know they can't get out. A penis however will 1. go absolutely anywhere and 2. sometimes goes in much smaller than it comes out.....I now see the error of that last part about where they can stick it.

That didn't come out right either, I think I should stop while I'm a head. Wait, I didn't mean that either. I gotta go now.