I just had an Ah-ha! moment. We were trying to have a nice family dinner since my husband got home at 7 versus 8:30. Before he even got to the table the boys were fighting and I was yelling. Three of us actually took several bites, my husband and I were trying to divert attention from the screaming four-year-old that wasn't eating but had already left the table.
We spent the next 25 minutes alternating between reprimanding, scolding, consequences and conversation starters, acknowledgements, and complimenting. Needless to say we were both exhausted and dinner still ended with one in his room and the other in tears.
"What have we done wrong!" My husband cried in dismay. I asked him to remember how hard it was to be 7 and 4. To come down off the Christmas high and return to school and some routine. "You are probably right, you always are." was his reply in my head.
As I was cleaning up the dishes I was thinking how many times they said at the table, "This is boring. I don't like this. I wanna go, I don't wanna stay here!!" And I couldn't help but think in my head - "So? Suck it up!" How many times have I gone to dinners, parties, or functions that I didn't want to go to. Not to mention work! But children can't relate to my world, lack of life experience. Ok? Did I have to do things as a child that I didn't want to do?
Heck Yeah! Church. For me sitting in church was a lesson in patience. I didn't learn to sit still and focus my attention until I was at least, wait, let's face it. I'm almost 40 and still can't sit through a church service and focus. I make groceries lists, start blogs, and write letters on the bulletin. I people watch and at this point in my life, sometimes get up and leave. I'm the parent now, no one to tell me what to do.
It's been a long week, they are tired, and I know that it's really about just that; they are sick of everyone telling them what to do. I get that. I'm sorry boys, it doesn't really get any better than this.
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