Everything in my house requires an argument. Are you familiar with the teaching tool call the Socratic method?
The Socratic method (also known as method of Elenchus or Socratic debate) is a form of cooperative argumentative dialogue between individuals, based on asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to draw out ideas and underlying presuppositions.
Perhaps it is genetic in Greeks, or my husband only got half the lesson? He tends to forget the COOPPERATIVE and DIALOGUE parts. When I met my husband my family would tease us by calling us Lucy and Ricky. The bickering was constant and would live both of us upset and one of us retreating to lick our wounded ego. But I specifically remember a time when my parents were visiting and I was driving, I don't think my husband had his license yet, and he was telling me to go a certain way. I told him which way I was going and he was, what I will call, arguing what they would say to day is Mansplaining. I got upset.
Gently from the backseat my mom responded that we were both saying the same thing just in a different way. It was like a lightbulb went off. No wonder I was so mad 50% of the time. I was saying the same thing I just wasn't feeling heard or acknowledged. I would like to tell you we have fixed that but alas...
Then we have two beautiful boys. Low and behold - I have two more boys to argue with. Sigh.
My boys have very different personalities so they do not generally both get argumentative at the same time - yet. Also the things they will push back on differ but that only meant that at any given time I am locked horns with one of my 3 boys. Pushing, pulling, hugging, yelling, laughing, loving working harf to get to the next thing: shower, clean up your room, finish your homework.
Last night, I think I broke. Literally. I am trying to plan a vacation and fast because our window of opportunity is running out and I have asked, cajoled, and pleaded. My youngest son sat down with me for a few minutes to look at the VRBO website and he said, "Mom what's your dream vacation." I just stared out the window and started to cry.
I HAVE NO CLUE!!
It was the word dream that struck me. Because if I could dream anymore, which having been beaten down my the Socratic argument for 25 years I can not, it would just be that none of it is this hard. That planning a vacation would be joyful, fun, exciting, hopeful.
That's when I broke. I just sent them all a text that said "FYI-I'm at the end of my rope, Goodnight." and went to bed. I am looking for a SA group - Socratic Anonymous.
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