Saturday, June 19, 2010

Summer's in Full swing

Well, my grand plan of peace, harmony, and a glorious summer of love - Not happening! I really do have great children, I think it's me that gets in the way. If left alone they play pretty well together and usually work out their issues - with or without force. The problem is really all me.

I've decided that my expectations are WAY too high. I can not imagine where I get that problem, I feel like growing up there were no expectations of me. Don't get killed, arrested, or pregnant. One out of two ain't bad?

Is it the fact that no one paid attention to me or that they expected so little of me make that makes me a monster mother? It's not like I was raised in a military family but by goodness after I tell my boys once the hair on the back of my neck starts to stand up. Like a caged animal pacing in front of the door at feeding time. I hover waiting to pounce when they do not react the second I give the order.

What the hell's wrong with me? They are 7 and 4! My own husband (who's 39) doesn't react until I've screaming at the top of my lungs or sobbing into a pillow. Why should they be any different? Just today I ripped my sliding closet door off the track and plopped it in the hallway because I haven't been able to open it for three months. It got fixed today!

And Heaven knows it's not like I've stopped screaming. I always have good intentions. I see neighbors, have friends, know people with 5+ children and I've never heard them raise their voice. I marvel, I watch, I ask them what their secret is and always get the same response. "There's no secret to parenting, just lighten up, their only kids."

They are only kids, great kids-with a over anxious, high maintenance, ADD mother - Addicted to Dramatic Disturbances. Maybe I should check out the local theater group, perhaps they are doing Taming of the Shrew.

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