Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

"Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too"
Daughters by John Mayer

Growing up I had that Dad. You know the one that worked hard and provided for his family, hunted, fished, fixed cars, drank beer, and ruled with an iron fist. Never in all those years of living under his rule did I think it would ever be possible to get a compliment, have a conversation, or ever develop a friendship.

But somewhere along the way, we have found a place to call a relationship. Perhaps it was moving out and having to do things for myself. Perhaps it was having to grow up to be the bread winner for myself. Perhaps it was having two kids that helped put those things from childhood in perspective.

Growing up I think it was easy to compare my dad to others dad's that seemed to be doing a better job. Why can't he be more like Heather's dad, or Teresa's dad, or Daddy Warbucks! I never considered the stories he told about his father when he was growing up. Papa was always good to me, picked us up for ice cream every chance he got! All I could think about my dad was why he wasn't doing things differently.

I heard that John Mayer song that I quoted on Father's Day for the first time. I think I've probably heard it on the radio, but I couldn't understand the words considering half the artists today sound like they are singing with rocks in their mouth. I digress....because the first thing that came to my mind when I heard those lyrics was my dad saying Goodbye to me at the airport when I left for Cyprus.

It was the first time I saw my father cry. No, not cry, he sobbed. Shoulders shaking, breath catching, tears rolling down his face. He hugged me so tight I thought my heart stopped. He told me how much he loved me, and how much he would miss me, and that he thought I was brave. I waited 24 years to hear that.

Yes, my Father and I have found a place. But only after I stopped holding him up to a yardstick that didn't fit. He can't be Heather's dad or even Dr. Huxtible. He only had one dad, one role model and I knew the stories. When I really thought about it, sure my dad had done some things the same, but he had also done some things very differently.

It is not until we experience things in life that we can pass judgment. It is not until you have walked down those roads that you can speak with authority. It is not until we become a parent that we can truly appreciate the journey that our own parents went through. Oh, boy what a journey we have had, right Dad!

I love you. Thanks for feeding, clothing, and sheltering me. Thanks for dance lessons, cars, and gas money. Thanks for college-s, moving vans, moving vans, and more moving vans. Thank you for sticking around, not giving up on me, and for finally telling me how proud you are of the person that I have become - because Dad -you are a huge part of that. And I'm very very proud of that Happy Father's Day.


  1. Well said! Isn't it amazing how our viewpoints of our parents change over the years? Do our parents change, or do we? Perhaps it is both...

  2. I think Mark Twian said it better than I, something like...Funny how much my parents have grown-up since I left home....