Sunday, March 21, 2010

Now what...

Now what! A phrase that I heard so often growing up from my family, and now from my husband. Is it a harmless phrase? It would seem so, but it dosen't feel like it to me.

Am I being over sensitive? Am I really that difficult? Do I make life too complicated? I think we all have our issues, things we can't let go, places we draw the line. The areas that are gray for me, are black and white for my husband. Things that I can let go of, he can absolutely not.

So this is where we begin. My annal retentive, OCD, type A, perfectionist husband is mad at me again. What else is new, my reaction. I have decided after 15 years to try something new - not care.

Truly, I can not affect this one way or the other, that is what I have learned. When he is mad at me he's mad whether justified or not. He will hold his ground and his grudge even if it is stupid because once he's set his mind to being mad he goes for it.

So, What now? Well, growing up it was a given, I was the middle child so in order to get any attention I had to be creative. Which usually invovled being overly dramatic. Taking the slightest infraction or infirmary to a whole nother level.

So, What now? Well, with my husband it is whenever he feels that whatever I am feeling is insignificant. Or when my stress, anxiety, or general fatigue imposes on him.

So what now? Wait and see I guess. What's the worst that can happen? He'll get angry-er?

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