Rethinking Marriage and Life

NPR - Fresh Air Dec 13th 2017

Have you ever heard something that literally hits you in the gut in that, "YES!" way, that "Why didn't I see that years ago!" way?

I didn't hear this whole interview I turned it on in progress and then heard something like...
Most of us will have 10 marriages in our lifetime.
Shocked I listened a little longer...
Some of us with multiple people and some of us with the same person, but as we change so does our marriage.....

I had to get out of the car as I was only going to the Post Office from my office to get stamps. But I was reeling. It was so simple. It was so true. It was something I already knew, but had never applied to my marriage.

Now, one caveat here - my husband and I are not dealing with infidelity.  But we definitely have had our UPS and downs. At times it feels like all downs but that is partly my personality to focus on the negative. (I know! working on it people)

When I was in HS and had to take the requisite Career class they said that our generation was the first of it's kind and that we would have multiple careers in our lifetime instead of just one like our parents. This was shocking to kids who's parents were mostly farmers or factory workers. Both of which only knew following their parents into lifelong footsteps.  I was different, growing up in town with two parents who had some college experience.  They expected up to go to college and maybe even leave town to pursue a dream.  The seed was planted. I could do more than one thing in life.

Years later I would even see several career changes play out in my own life, yet never had I thought to stop beating myself up for not having the perfect marriage one that was constantly loving, kind, wonderful, and full of sex.  I drank the Kool-Aid, bought the goods, listened to the almighty "they" who said marriage is easy no work needed or you are doing it all wrong.

I haven't listened to this entire interview yet so maybe the interview as a whole is not as powerful as the one minute I heard that told me to stop beating myself up for not being perfect every minute of every day. To remember that there are many amazing moments in my 22 Year (this month!) marriage and they outweigh the rest.

Happy Anniversary to the crazy Greek who has made my life a lot more exciting and beautiful than I could have ever planned.