Oh no he didn't??

So it seems that my sweet loving beautiful first born child - is really a shit.  Last night he came home "starving" from an extra long play practise to which I did not sympathize because I packed him an extra large snack.  He didn't even touch it.  Because they can not eat in the gym.

O.k. I could have been a little less of a bitch, but he is almost 10, play practise has been going on over a month and let me reiterate he is not the lead.  He is an Oompa Lumpa.  He sits at the side of the stage 90% of the time.  You would think the boy could find some time to scarf down some cheese puffs and a juice box.

Yes he has a cold and isn't feeling the greatest, but this new meaner side of him reared it's ugly head months ago.  Not right after surgery, a little before and then in full force right after things seemed to get back to "normal". We separated the boys into their own rooms because of it.  As a matter of fact he seemed to go from taking it out on his little brother to taking it out on me.

Then last night.  I had dinner ready and waiting - his favorite by the way.  Homemade chicken noodle soup.  I made him a cup of tea.  I sat down and ate with him we talked about the starvation - play practise, his day, etc.  I told him he should get his homework done and then suggested "remember how good that hot shower felt the other night when you first got congested? It would feel super good tonight.  Then jump in your PJ's and snuggle up in bed."  How dare I!

He spilled his tea all over the table and his school binder.  We cleaned it up.  Note - WE cleaned it up together.  Then I said if you are finished with your homework you should head up for a shower.

 

 

"I DON"T WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER. ALL YOU EVER DO IT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I DON'T NEED YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!!"

 

 

"Got it. As of 7:13 p.m. I am officially off duty.  Good night and Good luck."

That didn't go over well, he continued to mouth off about my lousy parenting, so I proceeded to walk away and said "I need to walk away before I knock you in to next week because you are being rude and obnoxious."

 

 

 

I shut my bedroom door to the screaming and feet pounding up the stairs.  After that died down the seven-year-old came in to seek refuge with me.  We started to play for a few minutes then I heard,

"Mom, I need your help."

"Sorry I'm off duty remember."  The seven-year-old saw it coming before I did and said, Oh no- not again.  He started all over again when his dad came home and asked what was wrong.  He did finally come in and apologize and give us hugs and went to bed.  I apologized for my angry and rude words because no matter what I should act like the adult and I didn't.

 

This morning Mr. Hulk was replaced with Bruce Banner again and he was cordial, pleasant, helpful and especially kind to his little brother.  Then just when it was time to walk them to the bus he says

"Oh wait I guess I should get the stuff I hid from you last night when I was mad."

 

WTF?

 

He went into the family room and pulled my coat out from under the couch. Then he climbed up on to the counter to get my cell phone from the back of a never used top shelf.  Then went into the playroom for my purse, then into the living room for my boots.  He was bringing it all out smiling, I said I don't think this is really funny.  Inside I'm thinking Holy Crap what happens when I really ground his ass for something????

 

When I went to put my boots on - no laces.  I'm not sure which of us is in bigger trouble right now?





Daylight saving my sanity

I don't think I suffer from Seasonal Affective disorder but I have to say seeing the sun today - and seeing it until 7 something was wonderful.  But what is amazing is that both boys were sound asleep by 7.30.

HALLELUJAH!

And now for the rest of the story...

I can't even begin to describe how overwhelming the generosity of others was after my surgery.  All the dinners and food that showed up just in the nick of time.  Except for that once.

My good friend from college had signed up for that nights dinner, but she also wanted to make sure we had enough basic groceries for lunch and stuff.  She called that morning and asked for a grocery list.  I told her that my neighbor would be driving us all to the airport about an hour away but that her mini-van didn't have a DVD player.  No problem! Julie to the rescue.  She said I will stop by with a DVD player and the latest animated movie as well as dinner because I bought that already.  You just have your grocery list ready.

Amazing.  How did I get so lucky as to trade off a grocery list for a lifesaving DVD player and get a ride to the airport to spend some more time with my sister who flew in to take care of me.  Well needless to say the drive was less than uneventful.  It ended up being the day that we had a snowy white out causing an 85 car pie-up on I-75 which slowed us down but thank goodness we were safe.  We got to the airport just in time but then had to take a very round about way home in order to get around the closed interstate.

By the time we got home I was so thankful to know that dinner was in the refrigerator and that the groceries where on the porch. Or at least that is what I thought.  I was so exhausted by the time we got home I didn't think anything of it when there were no groceries on the porch, maybe my husband brought everything in at lunchtime.  I tried to lay down but my phone beeped again with a text from my girlfriend, "Did you get the food?"

Ok so I guess I should go look so I can say thank you, which I did.  I didn't see anything in the fridge.  So I go look on the porch. Nothing.  So I go ask my husband what he did with the groceries.  "What groceries?"  Seriously??  "Wait!" he says and pulls out an envelope "this was in the door?"

WTF??
Thank you for your donation to the Food Pantry every can helps
You have got to be kidding.  What are the chances that the day someone leaves me groceries there is also a food drive in our neighborhood - and they took all the food!

I was too tired at this point to even talk, so I handed my husband my phone and told him what must have happened and that he could tell Julie - I was going to sleep. 
As Paul Harvey used to say.....And now for the rest of the story.

While I slept my husband relayed what must have happened to my friend Julie.  Who's reply was
"Oh Hell no!"  He gave her the food pantry information.  She got on the phone and called until she got a person on the phone.  Then she told them what happened and that she wanted that food back.  The man was very kind and apologetic and offered to let her come down to the food pantry and he would give her some food.  To which she replied as nicely as she could, "No thank you."
Because I know Julie and what she was thinking was "Are you Freaking kidding me! I spent $30 on Boar's Head Lunch meat and you want to give me govt cheese and canned beans?"

What she did do was call up her friend who lives in my area, then she went and picked her up leaving the woman's husband with all 6 children between them while these two ladies went and stacked out the Food pantry.  When the driver got back with the bags he'd collected they jump out of the car and demand their groceries that were wrongly taken.  My friend even pulled out her receipt to make sure they got all the bags.  This man was also apologetic and remembered the bags.  He had to go inside because he had stored them in the fridge.

It gave my friend a chance to ask her most burning question,
"Did you really think someone would donate Lunch meat, cheese, bread, and fruit and veggie trays? Isn't that a little odd?"
His response-
"Not really,  I've seen a lot weirder things.  You'd be surprised at what people donate."

Having been an inner city school teacher for 15+ years now - she didn't have to ask for an explanation.  She just said thank you and dropped off my groceries for the second time that day.....and that is the rest of the story.

I wish I could remember it all, but this one is good enough

I wish I could remember half the stuff that I said I was going to write about......since the surgery things happen and I think, Oh that is so funny I have to write that down! Then it quickly falls out the other side of my head.

Where is the hole in my head that keeps letting stuff fall out? If I could just find it I would plug it up.  Or at the very least stick my finger in it until I do get a chance to write down the funny stuff.

The one thing that will stick in my memory forever is the night the hamster died.

Did I mention that the only thing the six-year-old child wanted this Christmas that did not cost $300 was a hamster?  After much deliberation (that's my nice way of saying arguing with my husband) we got the hamster ready on Christmas eve and hid it at a neighbors house.  It was a hit.  He named him Cutie Pie.

Well about 3 weeks ago on a Friday night just before we are suppose to leave for yet another basketball game my husband motions me into another room.  "I think the hamster is dead" he says.  What!  It was just alive 30 minutes ago, they played with it after school - it bit the 9 year-old.

So I walk in to look in the cage and sure enough. Shit.  Now what?  So I take the six-year-old in with me and I tell him that I think Cutie Pie is dead.  He starts to cry and argue with me.  He is adamant that the hamster is alive and I am just as adamant that he is dead.  First comes the sobbing, then comes the Eulogy.  (see separate blog, cause that's a whole nother story)

You will not believe what happens next - the damn thing moves.  So now he is desperate to save it's life.  Really? Can't we let it die.  OK well, I'm a total sucker for a sobbing six-year-old.  I call the pet store where we got it to ask what to do because I don't know a thing about hamsters.  They say they don't either but they patch me through to the Vet, while I am on hold Cutie Pie has tried twice to stand up only to fall over sort of like a drunk trying to get up off a couch.

But just as the vet gets on the line the hamster stands up for a moment, falls over, immediately rolls over onto his back and his feet go up in the air.  The six-year-old has watched all of this mind you.  The vet is waiting very impatiently for me so I say very quietly into the phone, do you work on hamsters?
Yes.
Should we bring this hamster in?
No
Well do you think there is anything you can do?
No.
Thanks Florence Nightingale you've been a big help.

Since there was nothing more to do I just held him while he cried.  And he cried and cried.  In the midst of all this he says with no hiccups and a very hopeful expression-
"Can I have a Dog?"
my response
"Will it fit in that cage?"
Needless to say that didn't stop the crying.

I love Teacher Conferences....

but then again mine haven't turned ugly yet.  With a 1st and 4th grader they are still along the lines of "this is what we are working on this year..."

My 1st grader has a young teacher who is wonderful, enthusiastic, and adorable.  She sent a not home at the beginning of the year saying that she wanted the students and parents to attend the Fall conference and just the parent to attend the winter conference. O.k.

At the fall conference our son showed us around his classroom, she showed us some of his work, and she showered him with compliments on what a great job he was doing.  He floated out of the room and of course so did his proud parents.

This winter conference went very much the same, except that we left our sons in the hallway to play with a kindle and hopefully not kill each other.  That would be totally embarrassing right? "Gee, they don't act like that for us?"  Well, hell we are only the parents what are we suppose to do!

I know that I am blessed and I think God every night for my family.  But there is something about hearing it from someone else.  To hear his teacher describe him gives me a much better insight into the person that he will be.

Teacher conferences are that glimpse into who my child is when I am not there.  And isn't that the child we all worry about the most?