I think I've noted before, but it is worth saying again since I am desperately trying to get paid for listening to podcasts, but I listen to A Lot of podcasts. Recently I was listening to Trevor Noah, The Daily Show Ears Edition when I heard him riff on this....
NPR-girls do more chores than boys
so it made me do some more digging....
NPR _ Why can't he do the dishes
My boys have always had a few chores, not enough to get an allowance. Not that we would have paid and allowance. Hell if anyone gets an allowance around here, it starts with me! But when I went to work part-time and they were home alone in the mornings for a few hours I started leaving a longer list for each boy of what had to be done before I got home. This has been a struggle since day one. The first summer I came home everyday to nothing being done so by Friday I was screaming at everyone while "we all" did the chores.
By the second summer I got smart and started screaming at them by Wednesday so that by Friday, when I am not at work, it was only half the screaming chore time. This summer I started with screaming at the beginning thinking I would nip this in the bud before it even buds. Ok. Better. I only had to come home and scream the chores done about once a month. Well, mainly because I have run out of energy and figure cleaning once a month is enough.
You may be asking at this point, What is your point? With chores and this blog? My point is that I do not want my boys growing up thinking that girls cook, clean, do the laundry, shopping, scheduling, and picking up after everyone- everyday. I want them to understand it is the Twenty First Century and men CAN DO ALL THAT TOO!!!
Men can cook dinner and change diapers. Women can mow the lawn and change the oil. And it is not like they have not seen their mom do anything a boy can do. It's also about being aware, which is what we discussed this summer between screaming chores done. I am not the only one in the house that can see the sink is full of dishes, I'm just the only one that cares. Working for a property management company that owns rental units in a University area is great for getting my point across.
Bringing home stories of maggots covering a kitchen floor so thick the Property Manager thought someone had spilled a bag of flour - until they started to move. During an eviction recently the Property Manager thought the mattress was covered in mold, until it started to move. Bedbugs. Or the Baseball players house that smelled so foul from spit cans and beer that we had to tear out all the carpet. They had converted a small back bedroom in to the "recycling center". By the time they moved out she couldn't open the door all the way because it was full of beer cans. Don't think this is just boy houses. The maggots were in a house full of girls and they have trashed many a rental unit.
In his riff on this article Trevor Noah mentions that many boys get paid for chores like taking a shower and girls get paid for cooking or laundry. His take is very funny and accurate because 13 year-old boys do stink, badly. And yes, I have resorted to paying them to get in the shower. But not without letting them know that if they ever want to have a partner in life they will need to take hygiene WAY more seriously.
All of this comes back to me being that nagging bitchy mom who doesn't pay her kids to pick up their rooms, vacuum and dust the house, or mow the lawn. But I also do not charge them to live in my house-meals included- or the gas money to get them back and forth to soccer five nights a week. Because, as I have told them since they were two, my job is to keep them safe and make them a gentlemen.
I hope their wives appreciate it.
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