Sunday, June 25, 2017

You never listen to me!!

The five words I think I hear 55 times a day, I swear to you. Everyone is constantly screaming at each other - YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!

It made me wonder....are we listening? Have I taught my children how to listen actively? Do I model that behavior?  Am I so preoccupied with my lists and my chores and my crazy that I am not really listening....

My husband and I took a walk this morning because he is beyond frustrated with both boys but especially our oldest son. Number one son will be trying out for the HS soccer team in a month and he will have to meet certain criteria to even get to the tryout. Like running two miles in under 12 minutes, and getting a certain score on the Pacer and 300 tests. (I think, don't quote me on this because I am the sports dumbo)  He has been asking my son how he can help him get ready - remember, my husband is a personal trainer and gets paid to train other kids for these EXACT tests. My son's response has been to ignore his father completely and do as little as possible.

He was livid this morning and venting about it using words like "lazy" and sayings things like "that's just who he is" and "It pisses me off!!"  That is where our conversation went downhill.
When he got all done I asked him, "Do you have a right to be pissed off?"
I didn't say it was a good question...but my point to him was who's Ego is taking over when you have asked if he wants help, he ignores you and you ask again, and again, and again?
This is when he blew up, "What right?! I am his father - it is my job! I know what he needs to do"

I should have stopped - but I tried to persist just a little. "But what if it's not what he wants? Or what if he needs to fail in order to learn this lesson all on his own?"

I think his head exploded slightly.
Very long and loud story short....he didn't hear a word I said. He railed on the boys and their bad decisions and crappy behavior and laziness and my tolerating all of it.

So I am not even sure what my point was in writing this and there is no going back because I have literally been interrupted 25 times.  If my husband is not screaming the kids are if the kids are not screaming then I am - everyone is being a total A-Hole and no one is listening but the neighbors


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