The other day I had a panic attack in front of my youngest son. A full blown heart pounding, chest tightening, mind screaming irrational panic attack. I made a phone call to get some help in pulling it together as quickly as possible but told him over and over, "I'm sorry that I'm losing it in front of you."
After I got off the phone I just sat for a minute with my head in my hands and my son come over and just sat next to me. He put his arm around me. He cried a little, He said I hate to see you this way mom. I pulled him in for a hug and said I'm sorry again when he looked at me and said -
"Mom, stop saying your sorry. It's ok. We all have worries, I have them, you know that. It's totally reasonable. You know that everyone is OK and I'm here for you." When my older son came down and saw us he said immediately - "What's wrong? Are you OK mom?"
They proceeded to take care of me for the rest of the night. Making sure I had a glass of water, did I want anything to eat, they took a walk with me and chatted the entire time (well, in all honesty they would have chatted the whole time anyway) When we got back they made sure I had a blanket and got my kindle.
Like being hit in the head with a soccer ball when you are not looking, I realized that they didn't learn to take care of me out of the blue. They do listen. And watch. They are paying attention even when I am not.
I have two amazing young men, and I am a part of that as they are a part of me. One more thing to put on my Awesome list.
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