Monday, July 16, 2012

Seriously!

Come on!! The first time in 20 years I decide to run out of the house without a bra on.....

When we got home from the pool today I realized I have absolutely no clean clothes.  Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.  Since it's 95 degrees outside I opt out of wearing the jeans and turtleneck stuffed on the shelf in the closet and instead choose a "European" outfit.

Let me explain.....my relatives in Greece and Cyprus love to shower all of us with gifts which is wonderful! I am not complaining by any means.  But if any of you follow fashion you may know that European styles are a lot different than our casual conservative American style.

I don't really know if I can do this outfit justice but it's not the worst part of the story so...

I grab the last pair of underwear in the drawer which we all know are the dreaded granny panties.  Then I find the thin black mini skirt better used to throw over a swimsuit then to walk around in.  When I say this mini skirt is thin I mean that if the panties had the day's of the week written on them everyone would know what day it was. 

The top isn't much different then the skirt to be honest.  And now that I have to try to describe it in writing I am suddenly terrified that I misunderstood the good meaning cousin who purchased it for me since skirt and shirt sound awfully similar with a Greek accent.

It is a gold colored strapless t-shirt with a crazy cartoon lady and something written in French or the Greek equivalent of French.  I tried to wear this shirt in Cyprus but it kept falling down. (could it be because I have no boobies?)  My cousin told me it was the fact that I was trying to wear a  strapless bra underneath it - silly me!!

So today considering I decided to finally wash my bra (yes, singular) after 2 years I am wearing the top braless, the skirt and the granny panties assuming that I am done for the day, no where to go, kids pooped from swimming, in for the night.  Nope.

I get an email that I need to stop by someone house and fill out soccer papers by Wednesday at noon. Well, since the boys are not in bed by 7 p.m. I decide we should run this errand tonight before I forget and get a nasty call on Wednesday.  All I have to do is find some one's house, look for a cooler on their front porch, fill out the paper. Ba-da-bing! Ba-da-bang! We hit the store for laundry detergent I am rockin'.

OH - Wait, probably shouldn't wear this top into the grocery store someone might see me, God Forbid! I'll just grab this sweater to throw on when we get into the store. Still rockin'.

I find the house without getting lost. Rock on.  There isn't really a front porch on this house more like a 3x3 piece of concrete.  I find the cooler behind a bush outside the door which I am now directly in front of and as stealthy as I can I grab the form thinking I'll be outta here in 1 minute.  Then I hear my kids.  "What are you ding out of the car?" I hiss as the front door opens.  "Well, Hey you guys!"

Shut the Front Door! Literally. It's one of my son's soccer trainers and I am dressed in this horrid outfit with no bra or makeup and pool hair.  Just shot me now.  He stood in the front door making conversation while I fumbled to get the form filled out and get the hell out of there.  And there goes the rock....

Good thing I brought that sweater for the grocery store though, well the hell is that laundry detergent!

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