Wednesday, June 13, 2012

50 Shades of Gray

I've got everyone reading now don't I? Ahhhahhhahhhahh (insert evil laugh here)

There is an awful lot of buzz about this book.  Most of what I'm hearing is, "I've read better erotica in an airport bathroom".  Funny for someone like me who would give anything to be the next overnight writing sensation you would think I would jump on this opportunity to figure out the who, what, when, where, how! Not really.

That's the whole problem. There is so much buzz about this book I am quite sure it will be an utter disappointment.  Besides, when the buzz gets so big my husband hears it, you know it must be bigger then EuroCup Soccer.  He's offered to buy the book for me.  This is where I have to draw the line.

I know full well that the only reason husbands are buying this book for their wives is because of the Saturday Night Live skit which promises your wife will be so horny she won't make it down to breakfast on Mother's Day.  My husband would money for me just to pretend interested let alone initiate anything.

Maybe I have just figured this out? Maybe the real bestseller lies in telling men what women truly want in order to get us to bed.  Like putting a dirty dish in the dishwasher, not the sink.  Putting the kids to bed on a night that I am not at Bunko.  Doing a full load of laundry not just the bike shorts.

I would hope that by now, 2012 I mean, we have come further than this but I fear not.  My girlfriend was lamenting to me the other day how much her husband "doesn't get it".  Amen Sister.  She said her husband failed to do anything on Mother's Day.  He didn't even buy a card.  He's offer at 11:00 p.m. "I'm the best Mother's Day present I could get you." I'm sure you know how well that went over ladies.

The next morning busy with kids, lunches, school bus, errands, etc she realized she forgot to unload the dishwasher.  When she returned home at lunch she went to unload it and low and behold it was done.  She was so taken back and overwhelmed, maybe he finally heard her, maybe he's getting it, maybe she had gotten through! She texted him a message.  Thnks for getting dishes that made me horny.  His response.  Really? Big tits do it for me.  Nope-haven't gotten there quite yet.

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