Does this go on my resume?

At the end of summer my youngest will be in First Grade.  What does that mean you ask? It means that I should really find activities to do during the day that will produce a paycheck.  I love volunteering at school, being able to clean the house without interruption, getting dinner ready early, speeding through the grocery store with only my list and not 300 additional questions.  Unfortunately those activities do not help to pay for the select soccer, dance lessons, etc.

I am not afraid to say that trying to reenter the working world scares the bejesus out of me.  The last job I had was Shipping Supervisor in a manufacturing facility.  Yeah, I know.  I managed 20 union forklift drivers.  Not my dream job, not any one's dream job.  It was a job.  It sucked.  I ran from the place and never looked back.

On this morning three weeks into summer and only two weeks into our chore lists we have yet again fallen into a screaming fit because I have asked that everyone get their chores done before we go to the pool.  What was I thinking? {insert eye roll and toss hands in the air}

What makes me more frustrated then my kids giving me lip every time I ask them to do something is that this is what I did for a living.  The first year I was supervising was awful.  I struggled to figure out why these people gave me such a hard time.  Then an older supervisor gave me a tip.  He said stop telling them what to do and asking them what to do.  He was right.  I went to college and management seminars and I was "enlightened" he grew up in this factory and made his way through the ranks.  He was well liked and respected and not just because he had done the same job, but because of his approach.

He never yelled or ordered or demanded things.  He communicated what he needed clearly.  When a truck pulled in for an order the forklift driver was picking he would go to them and explain the situation and ask their input.  "Got load 1542 on deck Leroy we need to get them outta here by 3.  Should I pull him in the dock let Russ start loading? How far along are you? Is it a cherry pick or an easy fill?"

I learned a lot from him.  Like most all of us, I hate confrontation.  I don't want to tell people what to do and I certainly don't want to yell at them.  He showed me how to work with people motivating them to work for me.  And they did.  I was wondering what happened to that person this morning as I was yelling at everyone in the house to get to work.

I think we all know who needs to get back to work!

A Mother's Motivation

How do I motivate thee? Let me count the ways..I scream my head off.
That was quick.  What Took Elizabeth Barrett Browning so damn long?  I am so frustrated trying to find my nine-year-old sons button.  What motivates this child? Do I reward his horrible behavior with a ipod touch just so that I have something to take away? Daily?  I have friends that say that even threatening to take the ipod away makes their children snap to attention.

I don't have the financial resources nor the moral ones to give my child something more valuable then my entire wardrobe just so that I can threaten him with losing it.  Maybe if I myself owned something that valuable I could stomach it, but all my phone does is ring.  No games, calendars, emails, or music here.

Well, in any case I will keep looking for that magic button.  For now I am stuck with writing a weekly chore chart by hand, following up three times a day, and finally losing my temper and screaming until it gets done.  At least one of goes to bed exhausted.

50 Shades of Gray

I've got everyone reading now don't I? Ahhhahhhahhhahh (insert evil laugh here)

There is an awful lot of buzz about this book.  Most of what I'm hearing is, "I've read better erotica in an airport bathroom".  Funny for someone like me who would give anything to be the next overnight writing sensation you would think I would jump on this opportunity to figure out the who, what, when, where, how! Not really.

That's the whole problem. There is so much buzz about this book I am quite sure it will be an utter disappointment.  Besides, when the buzz gets so big my husband hears it, you know it must be bigger then EuroCup Soccer.  He's offered to buy the book for me.  This is where I have to draw the line.

I know full well that the only reason husbands are buying this book for their wives is because of the Saturday Night Live skit which promises your wife will be so horny she won't make it down to breakfast on Mother's Day.  My husband would money for me just to pretend interested let alone initiate anything.

Maybe I have just figured this out? Maybe the real bestseller lies in telling men what women truly want in order to get us to bed.  Like putting a dirty dish in the dishwasher, not the sink.  Putting the kids to bed on a night that I am not at Bunko.  Doing a full load of laundry not just the bike shorts.

I would hope that by now, 2012 I mean, we have come further than this but I fear not.  My girlfriend was lamenting to me the other day how much her husband "doesn't get it".  Amen Sister.  She said her husband failed to do anything on Mother's Day.  He didn't even buy a card.  He's offer at 11:00 p.m. "I'm the best Mother's Day present I could get you." I'm sure you know how well that went over ladies.

The next morning busy with kids, lunches, school bus, errands, etc she realized she forgot to unload the dishwasher.  When she returned home at lunch she went to unload it and low and behold it was done.  She was so taken back and overwhelmed, maybe he finally heard her, maybe he's getting it, maybe she had gotten through! She texted him a message.  Thnks for getting dishes that made me horny.  His response.  Really? Big tits do it for me.  Nope-haven't gotten there quite yet.

Summer's Here.....yeah?

I mean YEAH! I really am excited to have lazy mornings and easy days, the pool, a vacation, and spontaneous moments.  But right now I am listening to screaming, complaining, and tattletaling.  Five minutes from now when I get done writing this and can't take it anymore, I will be the one screaming, threatening, and punishing.  Then they will look at me like I have 5 heads and wonder what is wrong with me because "We weren't fighting mom, just playing."

Perhaps it is not a schedule full of activities, play dates, camp, exercise, and homework that I need to work on, but my attitude.  I mean, duh? It is summer!

My distrust of technology

Here I am writing in a blog that I totally distrust this new fangeld gadget called technology.  Our computer recently bit the dust, and not just "Uh, Oh  the computer won't boot up." I fried the hard drive (the part of the computer like my storage containers in the basement that holds everything valuable to me and no one else) to the point that they can not open it.  Now all those pictures and videos from my children, all the stories that I have told them and written down hoping to make a book for them, and other miscellaneous things that are of value only to me - are gone.

So here I am on the Internet blogging on the new computer and wondering what good this 3 pound piece of equipment is if it can not hold those memories safe for me.  Can't I just pack them into a storage container in the basement??