Saturday, March 12, 2011

Ode to Dr. Seuss

Oh the hunches you'll think when I Gertrude McMom won't get up, so please go away!

I Gertrude McMom I'm the Queen of this house!
Queen of the chaos, this mess, and this mouse.
I'm taking a day to just stay in bed
No work will be done I am resting my head!

My hair is quite crunchy cuz I don't get to showers
I just spray more perfume, now I smell like dead flowers.
My armpits need shaving the hair I can braid,
my leg hair has bugs, can I just use the Raid?
The make-up I put on three weeks ago Monday,
is making me look like a big DQ sundae.

Oh, the things I will do in my bed there all day,
the things I can think, I can do, I can say!
Oh the beauty of solitude - just me and my pillow
and movies and ice cream and my batteried friend Zillow!!

My dear friends, must I say what I'd do
with a day without watching Thing 1 and Thing 2-
and the biggest and hairiest and loudest of all
the husband thing- stands just 'bout 6 feet tall.

I wouldn't make breakfast, lunch, and then dinner
I'd go to the gym and make myself thinner.
I wouldn't be referee, judge, lawyer and jury
I wouldn't be rushing somewhere in a hurry.
I wouldn't be running to store and to errand
No milk in the house - Look! See if I'm carin'!!

Yes - I Gertrude McMomy am taking a day
to tell everyone - everyone - please Go Away.

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