Friday, February 11, 2011

Stop to smell the babies

Isn't it funny the things we tell young people, things that they are sure not to understand until years later.  Like: Make sure to stop and smell the roses, You can't see the forest for the trees, This too shall pass.  It takes years to figure out what they mean, then more years to understand why adults said it over and over again.

My sister emailed me recently, saying how scrubbing the bathtub got her very sad, and it wasn't all the bleach.  It was the fact that her kids are all older now and at an age where they take showers.  Gone are the days of "tubbies" and toys and sometimes three giggling naked bodies in the tub.

Funny, I was feeling the same way.  The school sent home a note saying, If you have another child at home that is getting ready for Kindergarten, We need to know!  I shouted at the paper - NOOOOO! You can't have my baby! The paper really didn't seem to care.

My soon to be five-year-old sat next to me yesterday on the couch and put his head against my shoulder, I just stayed quiet and continued to write my list and the first thing I know he was asleep.  And I thought, this is not going to happen much anymore.  Where did the time go?  All those days I thought would never end (and sometimes still do ;-) are gone in the blink of an eye.
The other day he told me that he doesn't want to turn five, he doesn't want a birthday party if he has to turn five.  My almost eight-year-old had such a hard time turning five.  I think it is because I suddenly realize that they are suppose to be big guys and go to school and do it all on their own so I start pushing them to do it by themself.  Which they can, and I know it, but perhaps it is their way of holding on to these days for one more minute.
The holidays, for once this year, came and went with out my usual fall into the deep dark hole that seems to suck me in and hold me there.  But it didn't take long for that hole to open up.  I am almost forty, there are more lines on my face and hair in places that it shouldn't be, it's time to register my baby for Kindergarten, we're working on the first "big" school report, I can't get away with no bra even though I have no boobs (due to odd slippage), I have the pre-school class, and the PTA, and Right to Read Week committee, I can't get away with no make-up either (due to the added creases and more new found hair), there are lunches to make every morning, and basketball, and baseball sign-ups, and soccer that needs a coach.......
And everyday it reminds me of how fast this time goes.  Once my only job was to hold those little boys, check their diapers, and feed them again, look into those beautiful eyes while they ate and tell them how loved they are, how safe, how beautiful.  To hold that little bottom breathing in the smell and feeling the pulse of life so pure and simple.
Everyone tells you  "The days are long but the years go fast. Enjoy these moments." But it's as hard to stop time,as it is to stop a baby from growing, or a season from changing, or a mother from worrying, or a parent from parenting.  That's why sisters, friends, grandparents, and Auntie's are so important - their the ones who help you stop and smell the babies.

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