Thursday, February 3, 2011

Drunk Dialed

Before you make any assumptions, I know I talk quite openly about how alcohol consumption and parenting go hand in hand, but I was the recipient of the call not the maker.

You heard me! I got drunk dialed last night - Swear! By my mother.  I always thought it would be one of my single friends from a bar or a date as they gushed about meeting "the one". Nope, it was mom.

My parents have been down in Florida now for two months and I think it is really getting to my mother.  My dad, the life long drinker has taken to tea toting.  My mother on the other hand has taken to Manhattan's like a fish to water.  And last night I swear she was sloshed when she called the phone call went something like this...

Me: Hello
Mom: (talking and dishes clatter) did you get your order whose is that...
Mom: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Mom: Hi dear, are you there? Hello? Can you hear me?
Me: Yes, Hello.
Mom: Hello! How are you? Did you get all the ice they are talking about?
Me: No, we really dodged a bullet.
Mom: Oh that's nice.  Julie just called Connie and said it's really bad up there so we were wondering if you got it too?
Me: Nope. Thank goodness
Mom: Well we were worried about the house, and you all and ....
Me: If you are worried about your house why don't you call Bruce? (he's watching their house)
Mom: Well, that's a long story I can't talk now, I'll tell you later, and we tried to call but they have something going on...(voice trails off and dishes clatter and she seems to be mumbling to someone else)
Me: So how are you?
Mom: Oh, good, yeah, we had a pretty nice day, finally! We took a boat ride, and then your dad saw a Verizon store and wanted a new phone, you know your dad! Do you have Verizon? She said all the calls would be free if you have Verizon?
Me: Yes, I do.
Mom: OH! I thought you didn't I wonder who doesn't,
(then she says to someone else- She says she has Verizon so all the calls to her will be free I wonder who doesn't have Verizon, maybe it's Beth or Cindy!)
Maybe I'll call Cindy, I talked with Beth the other day, that's another story I will have to tell you later.  But Connie talked to Julie and said their getting snow, are you getting snow?
Me: Nope. (SIGH) Nothing, we really dodged a bullet there Ma.
Mom: Oh, well we came to get a bite to eat and we're with Connie and Jim and we heard about the ice and now we have to go back to the Verizon store because your dad saw one and had to get a new phone and that's another story, I'll have to tell you later.
Me: That dad got a new phone?
Mom: 256 pictures! He had 256 pictures on his phone, mostly pictures of fish, UGH!, that we had to keep so they are working on that at the store and then we'll go back, but that's another story, I'll have to tell you later.
Me: OK, Mom.  Sounds great enjoy your "dinner".
Mom: You too, kiss the boys, and stay warm, remind me to tell you a funny story later - I'll call you!

Oh please dear lord, Don't -  just go to bed!!

No comments:

Post a Comment