As my boys got older, busier, bigger it got harder and harder to find time to write ab out all their antics, angst, and anti-parentalness. Along with it came taking on helping my parents, more and more every year.
What a ride! I have wanted for quite a while now to sit down and think about those times and tell the stories they will want to hear in 20 years. Or more importantly the stories they partners and kids will want to hear. The hardest part about this time is that taking care of others - all others - leaves me with very few memories.
My boys made it through junior high and high school so there is that!
My oldest made his mark in junior high by winning the American Legions Citizenship Award, the basketball team, and playing the Bari Saxaphone particularly in the jazz band. He solidified his love for running and debated soccer or Cross Country in high school but never questioned his place in the marching band. In high school he tried out for the Honor Band his freshman year and when he failed brilliantly vowed to work as hard as it took to get the honored seat. Which he did twice, however Covid messed up the first year. Covid, as well as building construction, made my oldest son's high school experience a minefield. He navigated all of the extra curriculars; soccer, track, marching/concert/jazz band, Hope Squad, AP classes, no friend group, and only one girlfriend that ended in disaster - with his own brand of overthinking, overworking, and OCD.
My youngest son struggled to follow in his brothers' footsteps finally finding his own footing. He would not choose cross country either but knew immediately band was not for him. He would gladly take a leadership role but seeing as he was the son who was determined to speak truth to power, he was rarely gifted those roles. He also wasn't gifted the coveted basketball spots in junior high school because as my neighbor liked to say - "you can't teach tall". Soccer didn't go much better in high school because the coach wanted a clone of his brother and was not sure what to do with the opposite. Also the whole speaking up thing wasn't on the list of characteristics the coach appreciated. He wasn't concerned with the honor roll, or AP classes, or service organizations. And no amount of screaming on my part made him concerned with getting a job either! This child created a whole new meaning of the word Strong Willed Child.
One thing I can say about both of my boys throughout junior high and high school. They were kind. They went out of their way to take care of and stand up for students whether it was special needs or special circumstances. They were respectful. Not just to authority to everyone. They were not afraid of standing alone. Neither of them really had any solid friends or friend groups during high school. They didn't drink or date and it was their choice not our rules. They hung out with us as we had dinners together and long conversations around the table. We watched movies some of them again, and again, and again! The summer of Battleship 15 times and AC/DC on repeat.
If you asked me during this time what I most wanted to do I would tell you honestly, Hang out with my kids. I still would! I am amazed, proud, in love with the men they are becoming. I always learn something new when we talk. They are truly 2 of my most favorite people on earth. I could not be more proud of who they are but that is not taking credit for it because I don't believe I have that much power. I am making a pledge to sit down more often and continue to chronicle, my original plan, their childhood, adolescence, and beyond in the best way that I can....writing.
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