I am not sure if Senioritis applies to High School Seniors? Or those of us advancing in age?
Both of those things are happening in our house. My oldest son will graduate from High School in a matter of weeks as I round the corner getting ever closer to the big 50. It is very possible that we both have Senioritis right now.
I remember those days leading up to HS Graduation. Wondering why you are at school AT ALL. Over it all and not wanting to be there, but at the same time a little terrified to kicked out of the nest. Totally ready though. Not Really.
As I watch my son ride this roller coaster of emotions I struggle with how to support and help him through it. It's one of those times when you wish there was more than listening and praying. Was it easier to be the one in charge of it all? Playdates, bedtime, bath time, extra curricular activities.
When you are in the thick of all of that it isn't easy, it's all new and you struggle with navigating there, just like I struggle to navigate here. Is there a Google Map for this? How great would it be if there was an App for life! Feeling lost - just type it in. Feeling overwhelmed - just type it in. Feeling out of balance - TYPE IT IN.
sigh. digression....type it in.
There is no map for life's big moments and I guess with age we realize that was a good thing. Because it made us forge ahead, figure it out, hopefully enjoy some of the ride. (Unless you're a Nerves Nelly like me)
I want to impress upon my son that as crazy and overwhelming as this all feels he should try to take in some of these moments. It's hard! He doesn't have any friends to share it all with and I get it, without a connection to all of this it seems pointless to even try to be a part of it. Hell, it hurts 10 times worse standing on the sidelines watching everyone else enjoying it.
It just doesn't get any easier when they are the ones who never get invited to the party!!!!
And for the people who say - Well you put yourself there by standing on the sidelines. Seriously? This is not a Senior Year thing. This has been an issue all his life. Why?? Because we didn't have the money to throw the kids a birthday party every year at Laser Tag? Because we invited your kids over to play in the backyard with the hose and eat popsicles instead of inviting you to the Swim Club with a snack bar account??
He has been asking to get in this game all his life.
I hope and pray that college is different. I hate that all I have is hope. I wish it was still as easy as calling up another mom, setting up a time, and hoping this time our back yard, our hose, and our snacks are enough.
For now, we are wrapping up his Senior Year in a Pandemic. He didn't go to Prom, Senior awards were today and by invite only. He come home and just shook his head, not invited. He missed the Jazz Band party because of track only to find out he is not running in tomorrows meet - but he's going anyway to cheer on his teammates. I hope his teammates appreciate it - but I am sure that they won't even notice.
Set the GPS for Bigger and Better things my love, God Speed.
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