That's not illegal. That's Adulting.

 My oldest son checks all the oldest son boxes. He is hardworking, rule following, a straight A people pleaser.  He has spent the last few Saturday's working for different clients of my husband's who just needed some muscle. Odd jobs around their house or yard.

Yesterday at the track meet some fellow runner asked what he was up to tomorrow. He said, "I'm staining a deck." To which one Freshman replied WHY....and thus the conversation ensued.

My Son - "Well they are paying me and college is expensive.

Freshman - "Do you have to pay for college?"

random runner - "You're an idiot!"

Freshman - "I mean aren't your parents paying for it?"

My Son - "I have to help pay for some of it, but yes, my parents are helping I got some scholarships."

Freshman - "So do you like doing like - work?"

My Son - "Well maybe not all of it, but yes I enjoy being outside, landscaping, mowing, digging stuff up, cutting stuff down."

Freshman - "Hmm? I don't think I would like that? Do you like staining decks?

My Son - "I don't know, I'll tell you after tomorrow."

Freshman - "Wait what?!

My Son - "I don't know I've never stained a deck before."

Freshman - "ISN'T THAT ILLEGAL?!"

random runner - "Shut up idiot!"

Freshman - "I mean isn't that like false advertising or something?"

I couldn't help at this point bust out laughing and I interrupted my son's story to proclaim rather loudly - That's not illegal - that's adulting! My son laughed and said that was a better come back than what he said.  But he did shake his head and admit that perhaps I had a good point.

He told me the exact moment at the start of this his Senior year he realized everyone it making it up as they go along.  It was the first day of school and he is the first and only student to take their new Engineering curriculum all 4 years. That meant that this year would be an Independent Study.  Mr. Glazer is not only his favorite teacher but the only teacher he has had all 4 years and the one who wrote several of his college recommendation letters.

My son said to me recently, when I walked into Engineering class the first day this year it was actually the second year students class time. Mr. Glazer got them all settled down and then said to me, well are you ready for this? I was so nervous after all the stuff we had to do to get this approved. I wasn't sure if the Principal and Superintendent were coming back to watch me. I just wasn't sure how this was going to go.

Then Mr. Glazer slapped me on the back and said, Ok. So you can take over the lab and work there. Good Luck kiddo - go figure it out.

I just stood there for a minute stunned. I said thanks, but I thought, Shit (sorry mom) I am really doing this all by myself. I gotta make this sh-stuff up. After about a week I realized that's what all the teachers are doing? They are making it up! Everyday! OMG was that eye opening.

Funny. As a parent the events that you think will impact your kids the most sometimes have no effect and others you may not know about at all - change their life.  This independent study has been fantastic for him. Not because he learned so much about Engineering (he did learn he HATES coding) but because he learned so much about himself, about life. He really needed to know especially after COVID that we all do the best we can everyday. No one has all the answers, no one is perfect, and Hell to the Yes we make it ALL up as we go along.

I know the Freshman who he was talking to and the random runner with all the snarky comments. I know that one of them will be OK the other one, well, he may learn manners eventually. Or not. But what I do know is that life will also give them the opportunity to learn that adulting is not something you can google, or watch on YouTube. It's just figuring it out.

Senioritis- is it on Google Maps?

 I am not sure if Senioritis applies to High School Seniors? Or those of us advancing in age?

Both of those things are happening in our house.  My oldest son will graduate from High School in a matter of weeks as I round the corner getting ever closer to the big 50.  It is very possible that we both have Senioritis right now.

I remember those days leading up to HS Graduation. Wondering why you are at school AT ALL. Over it all and not wanting to be there, but at the same time a little terrified to kicked out of the nest. Totally ready though. Not Really.

As I watch my son ride this roller coaster of emotions I struggle with how to support and help him through it.  It's one of those times when you wish there was more than listening and praying.  Was it easier to be the one in charge of it all? Playdates, bedtime, bath time, extra curricular activities.

When you are in the thick of all of that it isn't easy, it's all new and you struggle with navigating there, just like I struggle to navigate here. Is there a Google Map for this? How great would it be if there was an App for life! Feeling lost - just type it in. Feeling overwhelmed - just type it in. Feeling out of balance - TYPE IT IN.

sigh. digression....type it in.

There is no map for life's big moments and I guess with age we realize that was a good thing. Because it made us forge ahead, figure it out, hopefully enjoy some of the ride. (Unless you're a Nerves Nelly like me)

I want to impress upon my son that as crazy and overwhelming as this all feels he should try to take in some of these moments. It's hard! He doesn't have any friends to share it all with and I get it, without a connection to all of this it seems pointless to even try to be a part of it. Hell, it hurts 10 times worse standing on the sidelines watching everyone else enjoying it.

It just doesn't get any easier when they are the ones who never get invited to the party!!!!

And for the people who say - Well you put yourself there by standing on the sidelines. Seriously? This is not a Senior Year thing. This has been an issue all his life.  Why?? Because we didn't have the money to throw the kids a birthday party every year at Laser Tag? Because we invited your kids over to play in the backyard with the hose and eat popsicles instead of inviting you to the Swim Club with a snack bar account??

He has been asking to get in this game all his life.

I hope and pray that college is different. I hate that all I have is hope. I wish it was still as easy as calling up another mom, setting up a time, and hoping this time our back yard, our hose, and our snacks are enough.

For now, we are wrapping up his Senior Year in a Pandemic. He didn't go to Prom, Senior awards were today and by invite only. He come home and just shook his head, not invited. He missed the Jazz Band party because of track only to find out he is not running in tomorrows meet - but he's going anyway to cheer on his teammates. I hope his teammates appreciate it - but I am sure that they won't even notice.

Set the GPS for Bigger and Better things my love, God Speed.