Dear Kirk -
I am so sorry to hear of your passing. I still can not believe that you are gone. My heart goes out to your wife and son, and to all your family. The loss they must feel right now seems unfathomable.
Hearing of your accident made me take a very long hard trip down memory lane. It's been 33 years since we met! That's a long time. I haven't thought about JR HS (unless I had to) and even then I think I blocked most of it out.
What has been most interesting over the last week thinking about you, us, everyone is how much you touched my life that I never noticed before. I want to thank you for that. I want to thank you for a lot of things, Kirk. I wish I could thank you in person. Why didn't I?
I don't remember the exact day that you walked into my life, but I do remember the smile. I was a scared lonely 7th grader walking home alone every day. Until the 4 Musketeers came along. Heidi, Teresa, Scott, and Kirk. The girls said Hello and invited me to walk with them, but you just smiled. A smile that literally went from ear to ear. With your bowl haircut and thick glasses and your Football Jersey if I remember correctly. I was terrified of you all, you were a group, you were happy, your were friends, and I didn't know what any of those things were.
You taught me all of it, and more.
It wasn't long before your group of 4 became 5 and we were officially "going together". I know how much it hurt Teresa, but I also knew that you were not interested in Teresa like that, and you and I had a connection. One that would be hard to break in the years to come.
Remember all those days after school in Heidi basement with you and Scott trying desperately to get one of us to pee our pants laughing? And Scott trying desperately to get Heidi to kiss him. I remember hanging out in your basement also which felt so edgy because your bedroom was down there, but there was always a parent or one of your little sisters nearby.
Watching you with your sisters was amazing to me since I had an older brother who had three little sisters also - you two were nothing alike. You loved them all very much and it showed, most of the time. It was cool to watch you play with them, especially Nicole who was maybe 6? She would bring dolls, or My Little Pony's or whatever she was playing with at the time. Somehow it always morphed into a battle with GI Joe but it still made them all laugh.
I will always remember your laugh. It was genuine, and hearty. When I think of Laugh loud, long, and often! I think of you. Making people laugh was your ultimate goal and you would do anything to get it. The more they resisted the harder you worked, the sillier you got, the crazy the faces, dances, and words.
Oh your made up words! I wish I would have written them down. You were always making up words to use. The best part was how you used them so confidently and regularly that all of your friends started using them too.
Our Jr High break up was what my sons would call Epic today. It took me a week to figure out what it was though, and I only figured it out because you blabbed all over school what you did. I'm giggling just picturing you dragging the phone into your bedroom and shutting the door. Then calling my house, asking for me, and waiting all anxious and shaking with the pause button down on your Boombox and the cassette tape in the exact right place. When I answered you played Burn Bitch Burn by KISS into the phone and then slammed it down. I couldn't understand a word so I just shrugged and hung up. Not at all the reaction you were hoping for I know! Don't worry I got mad a week later when I heard what you did.
It would not be the last of us though, not by a long shot. How many times did we officially get back together and break up? I was thinking 4? We went to a Homecoming together right, and sock hops after the football games. We almost went to Prom - that is still EPIC you stinker!! I can not believe that you dumped me two weeks before Prom and took someone else. And I took you back after that too!
Oh Kirk. My heart hurts. It hurts for your son who I am sure has the same twinkle in his eye that you do, it's called ornery. You gave the word new meaning. But you were never afraid to be yourself. You were never afraid to be different - very different. In fact you revealed in it. You idolized Jeff Spicoli and were the first person in the Midwest to call everyone "Dude" and talk like a surfer.
I will never forget, I think your senior year, we were not dating at the time (imagine that) and I was coming up the stairs to Senior Hallway for a math class. As I was getting to the top of the stairs I hear chanting and stomping and howling laughter. When I rounded the corner there you were doing your best Native American Snow Dance in the hallway with everyone watching even the teachers. I swear it wasn't 20 minutes later it started to snow and everyone in school heard you holler "WOOOWHOO!!" You did it.
How you loved to be outdoors. I think you loved cold the best, snowskiing, hockey, snowmobiling but how many hours did I spend driving a boat for you and my little brother? I think you learned to Barefoot behind our boat. All those times at your Grandparents cottage on the lake.
Do you remember the card I got for your HS graduation? OMG! Was that not perfect? I think it led to another reunion for us if I am not mistaken. You had gotten into some kind of trouble and lost your driver's license and I found a card that said something like "Congraulations on your Graduation." and on the inside it read, "That tassel will look great flying in the wind from your ten speed bike." You were mad but you laughed and tickled me.
You tickled the hell out of me. Where did that memory come from? I hate being tickled and you thought it was funny to watch me jump and squirm and run away terrified that you would get me.
Oh Kirk. What happened. You are the Man of Steel. When I heard you had a motrocycle accident I thought for sure it would be another story to add to your collection. You were a great story teller. My goodness the stories you collected over the years.
I can not imagine the pain your wife and son are going through. My heart aches for them and your family. You will be so sorely missed. I know that our journey was not meant to be together, but I am truly sorry that we drifted so far apart. I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize how much I owe you for the person that I am today.
I don't even know how to end this letter, maybe I will just leave it open and keep typing forever and that way I don't have to break up again.....
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