Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Here we go again

Another Fourth Grader - Another sex talk. Lord Help me.

Here we go again. Sex has become a big topic in our house - as once again we have a 9 year-old boy. It's funny though how differently my son's have approached this topic.  You may recall me reenactment of the sex talk with my oldest son - that went so well!

Since school started my 9 year-old has complained almost weekly that some of his friends talk about girlfriends and kissing.  They chase the girls around the playground telling them someone is going to kiss them and he is totally annoyed by these antics. The other day I find myself in the car with my nine-year-old and short 5 minute car ride but the question...."Mom was is sex?"

Lord Help Me! Screams the voice in my head.OK. Simple question simple answer. 5 minutes. Don't get flustered, don't over do it. K.I.S.S.S. (Keep it short, sweet, simple) But hurry up you just wasted two minutes talking to yourself in your head with that stupid look on your face the kid looks worried.

"Is it a bad thing?" Great! Now I have him thinking he can't ask me questions about sex because I clam up like Dad's wallet.

"No, sex is not a bad thing. It is not appropriate for a 9 year-old's to talk about with each other so I am glad that you asked me. Sex is what a man and a woman do to make a baby. But not all the time, If two grown up's are in love they may have sex without wanting to make a baby."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH - that's the screaming going on in my head as my mouth just keeps talking. SSSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUTTTT  UUUUUPPPPP NOW!

"But it all comes from the primitive caveman part of your brain - the part that tells your penis to stand up at attention sometimes."

{Insert heavy sigh here} "Mom, my peepee has never shot up when I see a pretty girl - stop telling that story ok! That did not happen to me in Pre-school I made it up."

{FYI - yes he did tell me that in Pre-school}

"Ok. I'm sorry I don't want to embarrass you."

"Well, this is embarrassing, I ask a simple question and your going on and on and I'm not even sure what you are talking about now."

So much for short and sweet. Great, sex talk number two going down in flames.

"I'm just so tired of all the kids talking about sex at school."

"Who's talking about sex?"

"Everyone Mom! Well, mostly Joey talks a lot about kissing, and girlfriends. But there are First graders and even Kindergartners on the bus talking about their girlfriends and who they want to kiss. It's like a virus has invaded our school - and it's love!"

It's official. I have screwed up number two son by taking on the sex talk because I actually thought
What is Sex? meant what is sex. When will I ever learn?!

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