Hello New Year....Goodbye old year

I have never been one for resolutions even from a very young age.  Having grown up Catholic I knew making a resolution that I was suppose to keep all year was fruitless - I could never make it through Lent. That's all of what 40 days?

New Years used to get the blame for my melancholy mood that followed all through January also. With Auld Lang Syne and all the "Remember when" and "Best of the Year ????".  I was a hot mess by January 1st.

Just like my children who have yet to cry Uncle regarding Santa Claus I was not willing to say out loud, "I know he is not real". My mom just did it for me. She outed him when I was 12. It was the saddest Christmas ever and it went downhill from there.  

Then I was married on December 23rd.  The holidays had been renewed especially after we added children to the family.  But one thing remained, the dreaded New Year's Eve. It was still the one thing about the Holiday's that could put me in a solid funk. Debbie Downer. The party pooper. 

Maybe this will be the year - I will find the secret to New Year's Happiness.  I will make a resolution to not be the New Year's Downer.  I will embrace the Year in Review with folly and mirth. (Should be easier given that Trump is running for President)  I will make resolutions with utter abandonment.

#532 - set alarm clock to "Wake me Up before you GO GO"

#533 - wear the wrong day of the week underwear ON PURPOSE

#534 - eat ice cream for breakfast once a month (ok maybe just on Birthday)

I will eat every lucky and prosperous food on the list! Grapes at Midnight. Black eyed peas and Collard Greens, Sausage and Sauerkraut. Soba Noodles. Vasilopita. and Pickled Herring! Ok maybe not pickled herring.....

This year I will make the New Year Merry and Bright for sure! Well at least I think I will, that would require getting out of bed, getting in  he car and driving through traffic, going to the store with the rest of the universe and fighting over the last bag of Collard greens and trying to find black eyed peas. And that is only if I don't bother to shower, dress, put on make-up, not to mention wake up my children.

Ugh this is getting more and more complicated and it is already New Year's Eve Day.

NEW PLAN - I will make a plan for next year! And it will be awesome.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good night. (I'm just going to stay in bed)

Are you sure you've been married 20 years?

Wow. It is a sobering moment to say out loud, I have been married 20 years.

Even though my children are twelve and nine the concept of time is still lost on them.  Talking about the 1990's might as well be the 1890's because they can not conceptualize the world that long ago. When mom and dad were other people.

I have a hard time looking back at those other people.  After 20 years they seem to be fading away. It's hard to remember a time before soccer, basketball, school, and life.  What the hell did I do with all that FREE time!!

My husband has been asking clients for months what he should do for our anniversary, where we should go to eat, and how should we celebrate.  His clients range in income so some of the answers were awesome because they totally sent him into a tailspin.  Like surprise her with a weekend in Paris.

So the other day when I took the boys up to the fitness center to workout, people were stopping to say Happy Holidays and Happy Anniversary.  By the time we left both boys had heard this 20 times. (HA typed that without thinking!)  When we got in the car my twelve year old looked at me and said, "Are you sure you've been married 20 years?"

Now granted, I am not known for my math acumen and frequently rely on my children to handle a math question, especially in public. (Including, How old am I now?) So his question did not strike me as all that odd.  I told him Dad and I were married in 1995 - and it's 2015 you do the math. and double check me.

Yes, I really have been married 20 years.  It's no wonder my children struggle with the concept of time.  I am baffled at that statement.  Where did the time go?  How is it even possible?  The days sometimes felt like forever while the months went by in a blink.  And suddenly here you are, 20 years later.

How should it feel?  No married couple ever gave us that insight.  They said, Don't go to bed angry, Always kiss goodbye, and make sure to keep a Date Night. (None of which we've yet to follow) But no one told us what this would feel like.

I think it feels like - school.  I'm always learning, there are a lot of pop quizzes, and a few major exams.  You have to study every day because you never know when you will be called on.  Your son needs surgery, your friend is dying of cancer, your furnace is broke, your fired, your mom needs surgery.....

Those moments when you can feel your heart in your throat, your eyes start to sting, and you wish it was as simple as three sharpened no. 2 pencils. And it usually is. Somehow you make it through. Together. Maybe this is what it's suppose to feels like, school.  Only you get to sit next to your best friend everyday, there are no demerits for PDA, lunch is way better, and if you get stuck you can ask for help.

(Now it doesn't seems so dumb that he copied off me on the marriage test during Pre-Cana.)
Happy Anniversary Hubbie