Are you sure you've been married 20 years?

Wow. It is a sobering moment to say out loud, I have been married 20 years.

Even though my children are twelve and nine the concept of time is still lost on them.  Talking about the 1990's might as well be the 1890's because they can not conceptualize the world that long ago. When mom and dad were other people.

I have a hard time looking back at those other people.  After 20 years they seem to be fading away. It's hard to remember a time before soccer, basketball, school, and life.  What the hell did I do with all that FREE time!!

My husband has been asking clients for months what he should do for our anniversary, where we should go to eat, and how should we celebrate.  His clients range in income so some of the answers were awesome because they totally sent him into a tailspin.  Like surprise her with a weekend in Paris.

So the other day when I took the boys up to the fitness center to workout, people were stopping to say Happy Holidays and Happy Anniversary.  By the time we left both boys had heard this 20 times. (HA typed that without thinking!)  When we got in the car my twelve year old looked at me and said, "Are you sure you've been married 20 years?"

Now granted, I am not known for my math acumen and frequently rely on my children to handle a math question, especially in public. (Including, How old am I now?) So his question did not strike me as all that odd.  I told him Dad and I were married in 1995 - and it's 2015 you do the math. and double check me.

Yes, I really have been married 20 years.  It's no wonder my children struggle with the concept of time.  I am baffled at that statement.  Where did the time go?  How is it even possible?  The days sometimes felt like forever while the months went by in a blink.  And suddenly here you are, 20 years later.

How should it feel?  No married couple ever gave us that insight.  They said, Don't go to bed angry, Always kiss goodbye, and make sure to keep a Date Night. (None of which we've yet to follow) But no one told us what this would feel like.

I think it feels like - school.  I'm always learning, there are a lot of pop quizzes, and a few major exams.  You have to study every day because you never know when you will be called on.  Your son needs surgery, your friend is dying of cancer, your furnace is broke, your fired, your mom needs surgery.....

Those moments when you can feel your heart in your throat, your eyes start to sting, and you wish it was as simple as three sharpened no. 2 pencils. And it usually is. Somehow you make it through. Together. Maybe this is what it's suppose to feels like, school.  Only you get to sit next to your best friend everyday, there are no demerits for PDA, lunch is way better, and if you get stuck you can ask for help.

(Now it doesn't seems so dumb that he copied off me on the marriage test during Pre-Cana.)
Happy Anniversary Hubbie