Sunday, December 22, 2013

A new twist on an old classic...

Twas the week before Christmas and all through my house, every creature was fighting including the mouse.  Their stocking were dirty and thrown without care, no one thought ole St. Nicolas wouldn't stop here.

The children are wrestling and no one's in bed, one just got hurt and one yelled $#!@ head.  But dad is at work and mom's little night cap, has settled her in for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, someone should really go and see what is the matter!
Then right threw a window it flew like a flash, it tore off a shutter and threw up the sash.

But what to my neighbors sore eyes would that be? but my children screaming like Irish banshees.
I knew in a moment we must look a hot mess, so I dashed in the house to get myself dressed.

Now Jones, and Foxes, and Curry and Wales, now Richards and Norton and Bertke and Gails.
Go back to your porches! Go back to your homes!
There's nothing to see here just leave us alone.

And then in a twinkling I heard in my ear, the screaming of each of my children so near.
As I grabbed my head from that terrible sound, they started again and both hit the ground.

Their eyes little slits and their faces red as a rose, and the snot pouring out of each of their nose.
Their mad little mouth draw drawn into a crease, neither one going to give up or release.

They were both crying and yelling, "Where did you throw the Elf!"
That I just had to start laughing, in spite of myself.

Then I spoke not a word but went straight back inside, to find the damn Elf and make him go hide.
Then using my finger to signal like this, (not THAT signal) they both came to me Alexander and Chris.

Then I sprang into action and sent them to bed, and they flew up the stairs afraid I'd lose my head.
But they heard me exclaim as they ran out of sight - "If you don't shape up soon ther'll be NO Christmas night!!!"

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.


Saturday, December 14, 2013

I got my Do-over...sort of

I remember having a conversation with my Aunt before we had children.  She and my uncle had waited 10 years to have kids and my husband and I were on that track.  Not because we didn't want children, we both had our issues.

The first time she asked what was holding me back I gave my standard smart-ass answer of: "The government has analyzed our DNA and asked us not to reproduce." She wasn't buying. She was patient and kind and asked until I really had to analyze what was holding me back. I finally blurted out, "Because I am afraid they will turn out just like me!"

With absolute love and sincerity she said to me, "I think that would be wonderful! You are an amazing person."  Well, it's obvious I didn't feel the same. I don't think I was quite convinced until, well maybe today.

My youngest who is mostly like his dad in personality, but I think has my anxiety disorder has had a rough week.  The school has been dealing with A.L.I.C.E Training all week.  This is teaching children to fight or evade an armed gunman.  While most of us cringe it is obvious that it is a necessity.

He has been "sick" all week, in my bed every night, and determined not to go to school.  I talked with the teacher and the principal and when the day of the drill arrived I ended up not only taking him to school but walking him inside.

As fate would have it his teacher was in the office.  She came over and asked why he was at school so early.  He just put his little head down and I said, "He's still a little worried about the drill." What are you worried about? she asked.  So he says, "Well, You said the drill is at 10 o'clock. That just doesn't work for me."

The woman's eyes filled up with tears, she turned her head wiped them away and then calmly said to him "Ok. Here's the good thing about it being at 10, we get it over with and then we have all day to do fun stuff. Do you want to see what we are going to do today? Would you like to come to the classroom and help me set it up?"

That's all it took. He gave me a hug and I whispered in his ear "You are SO brave! I love you."
(then went out tot he car and cried)

I emailed her later to thank her for taking such great care of my son and the impressive amount of restraint she showed not busting out laughing.  Her email back was cute. "I swear that boy is a 70 year-old woman trapped in a little boys body. Boy will I have stories to tell after today."

OMG. When we were first married I used to tell my husband all the time that he was a naggy old wash woman.  I swore that in his past life he was a cranky old lady that sat at the river all day beating clothes on a rock.

It hit me this morning in the shower.  We got a Do Over!! My husband and I got a Do Over.
Our Children.

Our children may be just like us, my biggest fear, but now they have us.  And I get a chance to say and do and BE all the things I wished I had growing up. A soft place to land, a voice of reason, calm in the storm, a shoulder to lean on, a warm snuggle in the middle of the night.....

We are by no means perfect , my husband and I, but hopefully we've helped these two beautiful souls on their journey, just by being us.