Commerical Madness

Sometimes I watch TV and wonder who writes commericals and what they must think of little ole' me.  Have you seen the commerical for Liquid Plumber that looks more like an ad for Porn?
Two men stand flanking a woman who plunges the plumbing snake down the clogged drain - in slow motion - with her eyes half open - when the Barry white voice comes on and says Liquid Plumber now has a longer snake.

Who gets turned on yanking a hair clog that looks like a small dead animal out of the drain? Thanks - but no thanks.

What about the fact that half the commericals have a gorgeous wife and a dopey potbellied husband?

There is a commerical for a breakfast item where the mom looks like she's been up since 5 a.m, done an insanity workout, been made over by Hoda and KLG, and drank 3 pots of coffee.  She's pulling the children out of bed, anticipating their every need and gets them out the door at the honk of the bus.  Then turns around as the husband is leaving and when he says, "Where are my" - Keys she says and hands them to him with a sweet smile and a kiss.

Are you kidding me.  I haven't found a breakfast bar yet that can make me a damn clairvoyant. I'd buy that even without a coupon!  I get so frustrated after the third time I've asked what they'd like for breakfast that by the time I am packing their lunch we are all screaming at each other and if my husband asked "Where are my keys?" I resort to an army saying an old boss used to use...If it was up your --- you'd know!

How about the fact that commercial writing sounds like they think no one has an IQ?

It's so bad that during the Olympics when we all watched more TV then we ever have in our lives even my kids who are 6 and 9 started talking back to the television.  (Oh, yeah that's straight from my tree.) They have become adapt at predicting a commercial - when the music suddenly turns sappy they chime He went to Jared.  When a car appears they rattle off 0% down for 36 months.  When the commercial makes no sense at all they sing Like a good neighbor State Farm is there.

While we may all know the commercials, my husband has never shopped at Jared, there are no new cars in the garage or in the future, and if State Farm was a really good neighbor, they would come mow our lawn.  Sorry Charlie's - there's no squeezing the Charmin here, and that's not an ancient Chinese secret!