Sunday, March 4, 2012

I can't save the world - I can't even save myself

I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now.  Does anyone else feel the overwhelming pressure to save the world, the country, their community, their schools, and their children? No, just me...figures.

It's not a news flash that I suffer from anxiety. I've written about that dozens of times.  And now my eight-year-old is struggling with the same issue which not only breaks my heart, but has thrown me into high alert.  Add to that I am living with my mother-in-law and worried about her physical and mental health being far from her home, language, culture, and now dealing with the death of two family members.

Now let's just talk about the everyday stuff: exercise, eating right, hygiene.  Then there is school, homework, social life, sports teams, not to mention trying to raise my sons to be gentleman of high moral values.  And I'm not asking for perfection, but I would like to say write a Thank you note without hearing, "NO! Why do I have to?"

Those are the others that I am charged with caring for, sometimes I find time to think (being the operative word) about taking care for myself but only after I have taken care of the house and serviced my husband who is constantly reminding me how neglected he is being last on my list.

Living in OH it is now time for the Primary.  We have a school levy that needs to pass just to keep our schools up and running at this point.  We are being bombarded with campaign calls, commercials, and propaganda.  Across the world my relatives that have worked their whole life and should be considering what to do in their Golden Years are eating once a day in a desperate attempt to have enough money to keep the water and electric on one more month.

I am overwhelmed.  I can't help anyone.  I can't make people see that voting is not an inconvenience but a privilege.  I can't make them see that people in Greece are not lazy, they believed in their government that in turn lied, cheated, and stole from them.  I can't bring back my mother-in-laws health or relatives.  I can't stop my son from having a panic attack every Monday morning when he returns to school.  Hell I can't even get someone here to take out the garbage!

I am overwhelmed.  I didn't think I was in this alone....but it sure feels that way.  We can't discuss the school levy without arguments over how money should be spent.  How should it be spent? On our future, that is our children.  We can not discuss the Greek economy without arguing over what is wrong with our own.  What is wrong with our economy? We handed it over to a bunch of greedy @&(#@.   We can't discuss what is going wrong with our kids because it makes us look bad as parents.  Am I a bad parent?  Some days, hell yes and I will own it.

I am overwhelmed.  I want to save the world, but I'm not even sure I can save myself.

1 comment:

  1. Me too! Life is hard! But as "they" say.. whoever "they" are.. what doesn't kill us makes a stronger! Hang in there my friend... you are my hero and someone I aspire to be like, if you fall I fall! Love you and miss you and will definitely pray for you!

    Julie W