As part of my resolve to make 2021 better NO MATTER WHAT I swore that I would write at least one blog a month about the kids.
It's not going so well 😒
It's not like there isn't enough going on within our walls - but I do not want to immortalize it. (leave no evidence) Mainly because I was hoping that my kids would totally forget all the arguing, screaming, confrontation, and crap. While some of our conversations do not turn into total chaos, we to often use the phrase -" that escalated quickly".
Usually, I am good at picking up on patterns in order to navigate the landmines of loved ones, but these are teenage boys. The only consistency is that they eat all the groceries I bring home in 24 hours and then complain that there is "Nothing to eat". Gently reminding them to do their chores sometimes results in blissful ignorance later "Did you say something? Sorry I didn't hear you." Or the typical teenage snark "I was about to {blank} before you nagged me." All the way up to a full Level 5 nuclear meltdown - "All you do is yell at me, I do everything you ask and it's never enough, do you have any idea how much pressure I am under right now and all you care about are the garbage cans!"
I am sure one day we will all look back on these days with fond memories and laugh and laugh....and cry uncontrollably in the corner while rocking and humming James Taylor to myself. I can complain - and I do but since it doesn't change anything I won't do that here. The recent snow storms dumped more snow than we have seen in 10 years and the boys slept usually no later than 8 am and then got outside to shovel out all the neighbors that needed it, just because.
There are many things I love about my boys even though they are teenagers and have completely forgotten what hygiene is, how to pick up the clothes on their floor, and that we own a dishwasher. Life with teenage boys is a double edge sword. I love that they talk to me about school, life, girls, friends. although I sometimes have to remind them that I am a girl and this is not a locker room. STOP FARTING!!
They put up with a lot from me too. I'm constantly trying to get them to meditate, try yoga, or bake cookies with me. I don't miss not having girls because I never had one, so I don't know what I don't know. Besides, I drug them to dance classes when they were younger and I have two pictures to prove it. They both have long hair and I have no illusions that doing hair is a fun thing. I haven't done anything but put mine in a bun for 15 years and both boys - yep you guessed it - Man Buns.
Things I love about my boys
Hugs. When my youngest son hugs you, you know it. He hugs you with his whole body he always has, when he was a baby I often referred to him as a Rhesus monkey. The best part about my eldest's hugs are they are unexpected. Like a sneak attack. It was great enough when they were little but even better now that they are teenagers because in between hugs is usually a ton of eye rolling, snarking, and heavy sighing.
Exceptions. I feel like my kids are the exception to my rule. As soon as I think, "Ah, Ha! They take after me." They take a hard left. Where my husband and I were never burning it up in school they are. My husband ate, played, and slept with his basketball in hopes of being 6'5" and tearing up the courts, my kids don't play. (And they are both now over 6', sorry dad) I was afraid of everything - they have almost mastered being scared and brave at the same time. Heck - they can ride on school buses, go to sleepovers, and try new things. They got me beat!
Intuitive. My boys are so much more intuitive then I feel like I will ever be. Perhaps it's because they have had so much more exposure to communicating, feelings, and self-care. I was determined to try not to break that little voice in their heart that most of us stop hearing by 2nd grade. If they didn't like a kid and didn't want to go to his house I didn't force it. When my youngest son complained every Sunday night about the yucky feeling he got, we named it and made a time to sit together in the yuck.
Character. My boys have character and they ARE characters! I am so proud of the men I see them becoming. Not just because they take extra care to look out for others who need it in their class, on the team, in our neighborhood but because they are aware of the world around them. They can have a real conversation with an adult. They are kids that teachers and coaches look to when they need help with anything. And they can make you laugh! My youngest is quick witted but can sometimes have a sharp tongue. The oldest is likely to make a pun without even realizing it while also telling a story that really happened to him but seems utterly ridiculous. (He gets that honestly)
There are so many things I love about my boys and I try to put that on repeat in my head when one of them who hasn't thrown their laundry down for a week is late for something and standing in the hallway screaming "What so you mean you didn't do any laundry?!" I started this blog for two reason - I like to write and I think I do it rather well. And because my husband and I do not live near either of our families. Some days that makes me sad. I wish our families were here to experience these boys first hand.
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