December 23, 1995

 Our 25th Wedding Anniversary

I am not a big dreamer, but honestly, over the years I have thought about this day.  Sometimes it was "Oh Hell NO we won't get there." and sometimes it was renewing our vows in the snow all over again...or on a white sand beach in Greece with my husband family finally in attendance.

But it's 2020, and here we are. In the midst of a Pandemic.

It has had me giggling and crying thinking about my past ruminations about our 25th Wedding Anniversary.  And this morning it has me doing both.  FOr some reason this morning while doing dishes I remembered that at one point before our wedding my husband to be was stuck on writing a contract.  I laughed and giggled the first couple of times knowing that guys had been giving him a hard time about the "ole ball and chain".

He was serious and when I thought about it seriously I could not even think about what I would write in a contract of marriage.  I won't cheat on you? If we get divorced you get half? Seems like a Pre-Nup but honestly the more I pondered the better it seemed. On my part at least.

Maybe this contract could state when I could quit my crappy job and stay home with our 2.4 kids, which house or at least neighborhood we would live in, new car every 3 years, wardrobe allowance, vacation requirements, and holiday splits.  Take out all the bickering beforehand! Write it all down.

We never did get to that contract, like a truw man my husband's ideas were completely different. Mainly having to do with date nights to put it PG-13. (your welcome boys) But today as I thought about that contract again I thought about how long it truly would have worked?

Like ourselves, our marriage has changed and evolved.  We are certainly not the two young adults we were in 1995.  College, jobs, life, death, family, kids, triumph and tribulation have changed the canvas over and over and over....I can not imagine a document I created in 1995 still fitting the bill today.

In 1995 I was temping looking for a permanent job that was not titled Administrative Assistant.  I ended up in manufacturing supervising union forklift drivers. (WTF, right? Good use of that teaching degree) At that point I didn't know how to take care of myself just how to take care of business.  My husband played basketball in  leagues or pick up games at least 5 days a week and he worked 7 days a week.

By the time we had kids I RAN not walked away from my job and thought how lucky am I!! I get to take care of the baby....babies. Very quickly my life became taking care of business, and taking care of everyone else. Until they told me that I needed to have a double mastectomy. Then suddenly, learning to take care of myself seemed like a good idea.

So when I think about how I would have written all those needs into a contract?? I need you to be a mind reader, a south sayer, and grow a money tree in the backyard.  I need you to sometimes be the cruise director, referee, and the girlfriend I don't have. And always be the bill payer, the spider killer, the gutter cleaner, and the car fixer.  Also pinch hit as maid, laundress, taxi driver, and monster hunter.

What I did say was this....with the somg that I choose for our wedding.No more talk of darkness,

No more talk of dar  Forget these wide-eyed fears;

I'm here, nothing can harm you,

My words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,

Let daylight dry your tears;

I'm here, with you, beside you,

To guard you and to guide you.

Say you love me every waking moment,

Turn my head with talk of summertime.

Say you need me with you now and always;

Promise me that all you say is true,

That's all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter,

Let me be your light;

You're safe, no one will find you,

Your fears are far behind you.

All I want is freedom,

A world with no more night;

And you, always beside me,

To hold me and to hide me.

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;

Let me lead you from your solitude.

Say you need me with you, here beside you,

Anywhere you go, let me go too,

Christine, that's all I ask of you

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;

Say the word and I will follow you.

Share each day with me,

Each night, each morning.

Say you love me!

RAOUL

You know I do.

Love me, that's all I ask of you