Have I lost my voice?

I think about how often I used to think "I have to write that down!" Let alone how much more often I sat down and wrote.

I don't do that anymore.

It's been bothering me for quite a few years now because the whole point of keeping this blog was to have at least this for my sons - if not pictures, memories, mementos, they would have their mother's words about them, their lives, their ups and downs and my joy in watching it all. I've lost my voice.

When did it happen? When did it get to hard to write?

When my oldest started Junior High? That was a tough time, for both of us.  My Junior High PTSD was triggered and his was just beginning.  My kids are still amazing and funny and brilliant and talented....maybe I'm not? Don't freak out I am NOT looking for sympathy here, I am truly just trying to dig deeper into this instead of hitting the easy button - "I went back to work".

Now that No.2 son has gotten through year one of Junior Hell I am looking into what it is that has descended upon our house. Puberty? That what the SMELL is!!

The boys are getting older, busier, more independent (in some ways, they still can't find the dishwasher).  Our relationship is changing as it should, but I've not only lost my voice, I've lost my place. I am not sure where to fit in anymore. It's not easy being Mom to a teenage boys. What are my choices?

or

There maybe more grey area than I think here.