Help, Thanks, Wow

Anne Lamott wrote a book called Help, Thanks, WOW:The Three Essential Prayers. I was introduced to this writer by a neighbor who gave me this book just before my mastectomy. I liked the book and I am glad that I own it.  I'm never sure about giving a book to others though - I always wonder - What if they hate it?

A beautiful family that I know is going through an unimaginable time. The woman is a friend from college, we were in a sorority together albeit briefly when I was at University.  She met her husband there, after I had transferred, but I have met him several times since as we all live in the same community. She has two handsome boys about the same age as my oldest son. Her husband has cancer.

I'm not on Facebook so the news that this is happening and hospice has been called in has taken my breath away. How quickly my life has become small. A circle, the size of my family. The day is filled with our stuff, our busy, and then I go to bed.  The only places I frequent are work, the grocery store, and the places that my kids need to be. 

At first it was a very conscience choice. It was a choice I made to insulate myself from the ugliness of a small community. The gossip, the clique's, the politics, all the stuff that I suck at and that make me feel like that 12 year old bullied girl all over again.  But here is the problem with insulating myself - it's also isolating myself. And now, I live in a small community that can rally in times like these for a family going through something heart breaking, and I am not in the circle.

I know that I need to reach out - not only to my friend - but to people in general. I know that I need to widen my circle. But as the saying goes...Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

For someone who fancy's themselves a writer, I struggle for words right now. I want to tell the family of the impact their love and light has brought to others. That seeing a couple so perfectly matched makes me believe in SoulMates not just RoomMates.  Watching them raise two amazing young men and interact in their community is more than inspiring. It sets the bar high for the rest of us.

More than that, I want to reach out with my words and wrap them all in love and support. Giving them a literal, or literary hug.  I wish that somehow, my mere words could convey warmth and comfort in this devastating time, but those words seem to evade us all.  If only my words could conjure the Angels, I would write them, shout them, sing them.....but I end up with only one.
Help.

It's ok that someone else has the words, writes the prayers. I'll write the jokes. Right now all I can think of, is Help. Please dear God, send them your Angels to wrap them in all they love you have.
Thanks.

Silent Sunday....

It's Sunday morning, 7 a.m. I have already been up for two hours. #1 son had to be at the marathon split by 6:20.  #2 son has day three of soccer tourney that is a little over an hour away. Even though I had two alarms set, I have been up every half and hour since 3 am thinking I overslept.

So here I am at 7 am on Sunday, already exhausted. I'll take it. With #1 son finishing his Freshman year I know that it won't be long before I am sitting in the silence on Sunday morning, wondering what they are doing now?

When the kids where 6 and 3 I didn't think this house would ever get quiet but now as I sit in silence I miss those days. When there was non stop noise. Cars zooming, Thomas blaring, sword play, gun fights, hungry hippos and kids.  Now a days the only thing the TV is good for is Xbox and if the boys are even home they are engrossed in their device watching something on YouTube.

Everything changed but it happened slow enough I don't seem to notice, until it was too late.  #2 son has grown three inches this year. By the time he is out of Junior High he too will be taller than me. He is upset with the status quo and meeting with the principal on Monday to discuss it.  #1 son is organizing his schedule and planning for his senior year, on top of still growing an inch a month.

So it's 7 am on Sunday, I am sitting in the silence for a little while longer. I am finishing my tea and my thoughts and remembering those days that I thought would never end. Enjoy your Sunday.

P.S. When eating breakfast before dawn, make sure you check the labels chili powder and cinnamon are not the same.