I saw a video the other day with a list of just some of the wonderful things you can experience while going through menopause. Itchy ears, feeling like bugs are crawling on you, sudden sharp severe pains, brain fog, blurry vision, OCD and MORE! More?! Seriously?? Like women have not been through enough during our lifetime as we near the end we get to spend 20 years with Menopause.
It is great we are talking about it finally and older generations are no longer hiding this information from us just waiting for it to happen so they can cackle. But knowing it doesn't make it any easier. I went for a hike this morning thinking 70 degrees would be a reasonable temperature to not disintegrate. I was soaking wet with sweat in 10 minutes in, my ears were itching, I had shooting pain all over my body not to mention every joint in my body screaming at me "STOP IT you idiot!"
The sad part was after seeing that stupid video I didn't know if all of the symptoms were menopause or signs I was having a stroke and going to die alone in the woods trying to stay fit. Stupid exercise. I wasn't the first person on the trail this morning but I was swatting at invisible bugs. Except the one that was very real and very large. A kamikaze insect dive bombed my face and hit me so hard I lost my balance sliding off the side of the trail flailing to grab hold of something before I fell into the abyss. Until I realized I was not near the abyss, I was near the meadow so I was only going to fall on my tuchus.
Why won't my kids hike with me anymore??
God must have a very warped sense of humor. Was he up there with all those other male angels and giggling. "What else can we do?"
"I know- I know! What about making them barren, crazy, AND hot as hell? Then we can call them Hag's. Hot. Angry.Girl's."
You know there was at least one female angel up there rolling her eyes trying not to shoot lighting bolts at their nether regions. But she was sweet, demure, trying to get God to see reason. "You know God, maybe we should spread these things out a little more evenly?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, maybe both sexes could carry the burden a little more evenly, you know? Like if women get barren maybe men should as well? If women have to endure childbirth maybe men should have something equally as painful."
"Do you have any idea how bad it's going to hurt when they get hit in the rocks? It will be awful! But that men get barren idea - that's funny. that's a funny one! Hey guys listen to this one....she thinks Men should get barren as well!"
Hence the saying God Forbid.
