Being the mom of two teenage boys is not something a book or friend can prepare you for, particularly the mood swings and snarky comments.
So Friday is a day going down in history when on I got an email from my now 16 year old son after he left for school.
TO: Mom
FROM: Son
SUBJECT: Hey check this out....
Mom - You ARE smart!!! Casey Niestat VLOG - YouTube
(FYI - Watch this after you read the blog it will make WAY more sense but still make you crack up)
My son just recently turned 16 and the day before his surprise birthday party he attended the neighbor girls 16th birthday party. He was not really excited to go which he told me 100 times. He felt like she was just inviting him because they are neighbors the same age that grew up together. He said he never see's her at school and doesn't really hang out with anyone in that group. But he went.
The next morning as I am scrambling to organize the last detail of his party I was also trying to get him out of his grumpy @$$ mood. He was in his room looking sound asleep so I went in and laid down on his bed too. I told him I felt like I could sleep for a week. He grunted a whatever noise. I asked if he was tired. He grunted a no noise. (I have become an expert at dis-gruntling grunts)
Knowing that the male species needs time and space to properly disgrunt I just lay there waiting. Soon he said "I was just laying here wondering why I don't have any friends?" This is not a new conversation. We have been having this conversation at least once a year since 4th grade. He never really connected or fit in with the boys in his grade school and when he did finally make two good friends in 6th grade - they both moved away.
Anywho - here we were hours before I need to get him to his Surprise 16th Birthday party which three of his friends helped me organize. I gave them free range to invite any and all of the kids they saw fit. The guest list was about 30 kids. And here he was telling me how he didn't have any friends, I was hoping that they all showed up!!
What I did say was that he had three really good friends that the knew he could count on - which is more than I can count. I explained that in life we will cycle through friends that work or don't work depending on where we are and where they are along the way. Making circles with my hands I said you have three good friends in this small intimate circle, you have a lot more people in this bigger circle that you may not see everyday but you enjoy hanging out with them or see them doing a sport season. Then there is this larger group of people that you know through other people, sports, the neighborhood, school in general, or maybe just social media. I reminded him gently, since I really didn't want to start a fight or further gruntle the mood, that these are the people he could reach out to more instead of just watching them on Instagram and wishing he were part of the fun.
My son is a lot like me and I explained, not for the first time, that I had a hard time making friends in high school also. That I hung out more in the teachers lounge than in the hallway. (I was NOT dating teachers I just got along better with them than my peers - let me make that clear!) I always hung out with a group of seniors and my two best friends growing up where my grandmothers. For what ever reason, I gravitate told people that are older than me.
It wasn't until after high school that several girls that I thought hated me explained that they were just too intimidated by me. They said I was so confident. HA! When I explained that I was probably 10x more scared than anyone in the room - ALWAYS - and they were blown away. Because that is not how I carried myself. Well then - where is my Oscar??
We talked a little more about how I think that because he is 6'4", carries himself with an air of confidence whether he is having a panic attack or not (like his mom), and the fact that he can talk to anyone - like the principal, athletic director, teachers- intimidates most high school kids. And then I threw him out of bed and into a shower because we had to get him to his party somehow.
Well, we did get him to his party - he was totally surprised! And overwhelmed. Not just on Sunday but at school the next day by how many people that couldn't make it said Happy Birthday. I was hoping that it would have a lasting effect....I guess his email to me is proof I said something right.
