I'm not impressed....

 

Both of my kids have showed me this separately which is not all that unusual but when my husband showed it to me today that was proof that's it's main stream.  I laughed when Peter Sagal of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me said, on the 41st day of December 2020....no one else laughed but I'm used to that.

I had high high hopes for turning this burning garbage barge around in 2021 but then a bunch of who-ha's stormed into the Capitol disrupting, taking pictures, stealing things and making sure to get it all on Facebook for the cops.  They have nailed down that this new variant of the Coronavirus is more contagious than the first one and while some states vaccinate anything that gets in line others are throwing vaccine away because they won't give it to anyone not on the list.

Oh, this feels soooooo familiar. Like little bunny Foo Foo ALL over again!

Little Bunny 2020 hopping through the forest, picking up the 2021 and bashing 'em on the head.

Then along came the Good Fairy and she said, Little Bunny 2020 I don't want to see you picking up the 2021 and bashing 'em on the head. I'll give you three chances, then I 'll turn you into a GOON!

Your three chances were up about 4 years ago 2020 - time to bash you over the head.

(just in case you are not familiar  PG version of Little Bunny Foo Foo)  

Elizabeth is missing?

 If I was looking for things about Alzheimer's it would be one thing, but I am not.  The universe is determined and keeps putting things in my path.  In the past year, in the hundreds of free e-books that I download and read 10 of them have had a character with Dementia.  Several of my podcasters have had experts on discussing the subject of Dementia/Alzheimer's and I've heard countless NPR reports. Just the other day I heard something about a book turned into a movie called Elizabeth is Missing.

Well, guess what showed up on the PBS app today? YES! Considering that I used an entire box of tissues before the movie was over my family may be asking Why are you recommending this movie. Because I have to.

My grandmother and now my mother have been diagnosed with dementia.  I have watched grandparents die of cancer, had friends killed suddenly, watched others struggle with autoimmune disorders, but there is nothing like watching an otherwise healthy parent fade away right before your very eyes.

Everyone suffers differently.  Some people have anger, discontentment, aggression and I saw this in early stages with my grandmother and mom. But for the most part they are "pleasantly confused" as my Aunt likes to say.  They are not, as a rule, aggressive or angry but that can happen. 90%of the time my mom is happy and grateful and somewhat conscious of her lack of knowledge.

Elizabeth is Missing shows the struggle of a daughter to care for her mother whose dementia is very progressed.  Maud, the mother, will put on the tea kettle and then walk out of the house or return home to the vacuum running in the living room. She has 20 cans of sliced peaches but has also found a system of writing things she must remember on post it notes for herself which become essential to the crux of the movie.

Please watch this movie. Even if you do not know someone who suffers from this disease.  It is not only a very well constructed story of redemption but also a realistic look at the heart wrenching ravages of dementia on everyone involved.  And if you do know someone who has it - My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers.  It is not easy. You are not alone.

What to watch??

When the Pandemic hit and my husband was sent home and not sure what was going to happen next we finally took the steps to cancel the ridiculous cable TV package.  Between my husband and the boys they choose the Hulu, Disney +, and ESPN pkg. I didn't weight in because I so rarely watch TV, or did before all this.

I workout at home and one of the rare times I turn the TV on is while I am working out. Hulu turned out to be good for this distraction because I found The Goldberg's and watched the entirety of that show from pilot to finale in about three months.  But finding a sitcom we could enjoy as a family, or in the new downtime that has come from the world being in a state of hiding turned out to be difficult.

Reruns, reboots, remakes of every size and shape. Some worked, some didn't. But while my husband and I could be swooned by the oldies my kids were not at ALL interested.  We tired their picks. Most of which I am still scratching my head at. My youngest is into Anime and my oldest would end up casting his YouTube account and scrolling through his favorite DCI videos. (Drum Corp International).

I tried finding a replacement for the Goldbergs but Aye Aye Aye!!! Oh the horror, the humanity, the sex. What is up with shows today going full on Porno?  If I could remember all the shows that I scrambled to hit pause/end I would write them down but honestly I am trying hard to forget it.  I quickly learned that any show that uses the word millennial in the first 5 minutes will for sure show full on sex in the next 5.

Thanks goodness we opted for Disney+.  I have re-watched every Disney/Pixar Animated movie ever made.  This genre is guaranteed not to suddenly burst into porn.  PBS take me away!  Upstairs, Downstairs, Downtown Abbey, Poldark, Victoria, Mr. Selfridge, The Durrells?? Or even America's Test Kitchen, Cook's Country, A Cook's Life, The Great British Baking Bake Off, or all things Martha Stewart.  I would rather workout to Bob Ross than two "millennials" talking in text speech about while guzzling alcohol and then hooking up. For Goodness sake is that REALLY all they do all day? and night?

Before I sound like a 95 year-old ranting lunatic let me at least say there have been a few shining stars in this journey through sitcom insanity...here are a very very few recommendations, not in any particular order. (Hulu hasn't sold me on watching TV) also I can't remember the title of anything 5 minutes after I watch it.

Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist

Being Erica *****

Beauty and the Baker

The Last Full Measure (movie)

The Man Who Invented Christmas (movie) *****

Happy New Year

A Message to my Family

2020 was a gift.

It gave us a chance to:

test our resolve

change and adapt

practice patience

give and receive sincere acts of kindness.

"There are two ways to live your life. 

One is as though nothing is a miracle. 

The other is as though everything is a  miracle."

Albert Einstein

2021

A Year of Gratitude

As the new year begins and we know the past year was filled

 with disappointment, heartbreak, and negativity.

Can we focus this year on

THE GOOD

THE KIND

THE LOVE

even the smallest evidence or act

can turn the tide

can make the New Year

one of Gratitude and Grace.

"No duty is more urgent than giving thanks."

James Allen

A Prayer for my Family

May every moment of this year

be the gift it is intended.

May you feel the sun on your face

May the rain fall gently, 

and the wind blow away your worries

and bring to you strength.

My wish for you 

is to feel the joy of nature, humanity, 

and the Universe's Grandeur

everyday.

All my Love - 

December 23, 1995

 Our 25th Wedding Anniversary

I am not a big dreamer, but honestly, over the years I have thought about this day.  Sometimes it was "Oh Hell NO we won't get there." and sometimes it was renewing our vows in the snow all over again...or on a white sand beach in Greece with my husband family finally in attendance.

But it's 2020, and here we are. In the midst of a Pandemic.

It has had me giggling and crying thinking about my past ruminations about our 25th Wedding Anniversary.  And this morning it has me doing both.  FOr some reason this morning while doing dishes I remembered that at one point before our wedding my husband to be was stuck on writing a contract.  I laughed and giggled the first couple of times knowing that guys had been giving him a hard time about the "ole ball and chain".

He was serious and when I thought about it seriously I could not even think about what I would write in a contract of marriage.  I won't cheat on you? If we get divorced you get half? Seems like a Pre-Nup but honestly the more I pondered the better it seemed. On my part at least.

Maybe this contract could state when I could quit my crappy job and stay home with our 2.4 kids, which house or at least neighborhood we would live in, new car every 3 years, wardrobe allowance, vacation requirements, and holiday splits.  Take out all the bickering beforehand! Write it all down.

We never did get to that contract, like a truw man my husband's ideas were completely different. Mainly having to do with date nights to put it PG-13. (your welcome boys) But today as I thought about that contract again I thought about how long it truly would have worked?

Like ourselves, our marriage has changed and evolved.  We are certainly not the two young adults we were in 1995.  College, jobs, life, death, family, kids, triumph and tribulation have changed the canvas over and over and over....I can not imagine a document I created in 1995 still fitting the bill today.

In 1995 I was temping looking for a permanent job that was not titled Administrative Assistant.  I ended up in manufacturing supervising union forklift drivers. (WTF, right? Good use of that teaching degree) At that point I didn't know how to take care of myself just how to take care of business.  My husband played basketball in  leagues or pick up games at least 5 days a week and he worked 7 days a week.

By the time we had kids I RAN not walked away from my job and thought how lucky am I!! I get to take care of the baby....babies. Very quickly my life became taking care of business, and taking care of everyone else. Until they told me that I needed to have a double mastectomy. Then suddenly, learning to take care of myself seemed like a good idea.

So when I think about how I would have written all those needs into a contract?? I need you to be a mind reader, a south sayer, and grow a money tree in the backyard.  I need you to sometimes be the cruise director, referee, and the girlfriend I don't have. And always be the bill payer, the spider killer, the gutter cleaner, and the car fixer.  Also pinch hit as maid, laundress, taxi driver, and monster hunter.

What I did say was this....with the somg that I choose for our wedding.No more talk of darkness,

No more talk of dar  Forget these wide-eyed fears;

I'm here, nothing can harm you,

My words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,

Let daylight dry your tears;

I'm here, with you, beside you,

To guard you and to guide you.

Say you love me every waking moment,

Turn my head with talk of summertime.

Say you need me with you now and always;

Promise me that all you say is true,

That's all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter,

Let me be your light;

You're safe, no one will find you,

Your fears are far behind you.

All I want is freedom,

A world with no more night;

And you, always beside me,

To hold me and to hide me.

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;

Let me lead you from your solitude.

Say you need me with you, here beside you,

Anywhere you go, let me go too,

Christine, that's all I ask of you

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;

Say the word and I will follow you.

Share each day with me,

Each night, each morning.

Say you love me!

RAOUL

You know I do.

Love me, that's all I ask of you

November 3, 2020 Ask not who I will vote for - but WHY I vote!

It's 5 am and I am up already. HIGHLY UNUSAL. I don't even get out of bed to pee at this hour and I'm almost 50 if that tells you how rare this is!

I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Like the day I had to have a double mastectomy - I want to get this day over with as soon as possible.

The polls are not open yet so I wait. While I am waiting I am thinking about our dinner conversation last night, and how different it may be tonight.  Most of all, I want my son's to know WHY I vote - not WHO I vote for.

I am voting for the countless lives lost and millions who fought but never cast a ballot.  I vote to honor the young men and women who protected my right like my Grandfather, and my Cousin and those who currently serve like my Nephew.  I vote because staying silent makes me feel powerless.

Do you REALLY want to  know who I am voting for??

I am voting for every woman to have the right to choose.  I am voting for every child hiding in closet from a gunman.  I am voting for the oceans, the forests, the amber waves of grain. I am voting so that no one EVER has to put off cancer treatment because they can't afford it. I am voting for black and brown rights as equal rights, finally. I am for the change I want to see in the world.

I am voting for my children, and my grandchildren, and ALL of the generations to come!!

Tonight, if my kids ask "who did you vote for Mom", I will tell them, YOU!