Quote of the day today....

and some days those kids are my own....and some days it's me!!  i love that my own kids can see when I am the one that needs the hug, the support, the love. 

yesterday morning in the stress of getting out the door on time for both of us, my husband pops in to eat breakfast before going back to work which throws my son off task completely.  i start snapping and biting at people for no reason and then feel awful....I stopped my youngest before we get to the bus stop and say "I'm sorry I don;t know why I am acting this way" and he hugged me and said "It's OK Mom you're just nervous about working at the high school today." 

last night trying to get the oldest to get up and get ready for soccer practise and stop bouncing from screen to screen I finally gave up and went and sat in the car.  he came running out with all of his gear and said "Sorry! I didn't know you were waiting in the car." i just shrugged to exhausted from fighting with him every minute of everyday now on every little thing.  we rode in silence about two minutes then he put his hand on my shoulder and said "It's all going to work out Mom I promise. The kitchen looks great, the van is good, and you and dad will have it all paid off before I am out of high school!" 

Quote of the day at our house....

Don't create the storm and then complain when it rains.

One of THOSE weeks.....

Have you ever had one of those weeks that wouldn't end? The kind of week where by Tuesday morning you are questioning every decision you make? By Thursday you start to wondering if drinking at noon is really such a BAD idea?

Ok - that was my week. I am not sure when I am technically suppose to start the week, but this week started last Saturday.  My oldest son and I were at a soccer tournament when he decided to head another player and not the ball. We spent the rest of the tournament watching the team but not any screens. When was the last time you tried to entertain a twelve-year old boy with out electronics or any physical exertion. It was a long weekend.

Monday started with getting one to rest, one off to school, and making an appointment with the concussion clinic...for late in the afternoon right when the other one gets off the bus. Perfect. More phone calls and coordination to get that covered. Then groceries and  more policing the screen time for concussion kid. Appointment, pick-up, dinner, homework wars, and soccer for the one with out a concussion.

Tuesday is a half day at school for concussion kid and starts with a meeting at the Nurse's office before bra, make-up, or dawn. (Don't worry the weather finally changed I was wearing a sweatshirt.) After getting the next kid up and off to school I took the dog for a walk because she hadn't been out in days? it is Thursday right?

Then it was time to answer emails that had piled up because while concussion kid was not allowed to have screen time - No One should be allowed to have screen time. Whatever!  Then back to school to pick up concussion kid who was suppose to be wiped out from having the concussion and going back even half day...He was not.  I made dinner, policed screen time, quizzed on homework and missed assignments and struggled to figure out with to do with the child who is SUPPOSE TO BE SUFFERING FROM A CONCUSSION. What he does suffer from is lack of screen time which causes severe moodiness, irritation, mouthiness, and boredom.

One more kid to get home, feed, and police, not to mention a husband who throughout all of this wants my attention. Oh yeah - and he could help, maybe, if you tell what to do. Back to soccer for concussion-less child and home to homework that he "suddenly" remembered and a dinner that finally looks "OK to eat?". Help me Jesus it is truly only Tuesday?

Wednesday concussion child decides he can make it all day.  HALLELUJAH! Wait, what about the amount of time that he is spending at school with his face in a screen? Will that cause permanent damage that I have not already inflicted from general poor parenting? Should I email the teachers or do they know not to let concussion child sit with his face in the screen for 4 hours. This is exhausting.

I get everyone off to school, the dog gets walked, and I take off to finally keep an appointment to look at Granite counter tops to finish the kitchen. I forgot to eat. Well, three out of four ain't bad.  The laundry gets done, mostly, dinner gets made, homework, policing (damn these screens), and plenty of screaming and gnashing of teeth. We are darn near back to normal. Except that now I am sporting a pounding headache. But there is no soccer tonight. Yippee Ki A.

It's Thursday. Concussion child is making it through school all day and I have had a productive meeting regarding our kitchen counter tops however it was an hour drive - one way.  Crap- I have a doctor's appointment that I forgot about. Good bye Thursday's productivity. It's time for concussion child to get home and the dog really needs a walk so does concussion child because he is bouncing off the walls. Is this a good idea? What were the doctor's instructions again besides limit screen time - which I have done SO great at anyway.  I think he was actually taking the dog for a walk then I step outside and realize that he used the dog as a cover.  He is standing outside the neighbors front window watching their TV. Ugh. I made a decision right then and there. "Get dressed you are going to Cross Country practice." I took him back up to school told the Coach he was cleared and sped away.  Of course after words I thought what the heck am I doing? What if he truly has a horrible concussion and I just ruined his brain. Help me Jesus! or Calgon! Or vodka!!!

The husband is home, again. He wants attention. He wants to know what I'm doing. He wants to know what's for dinner. I want to know what the sentence is if it is not pre-meditated? Number two son comes home and we once again fight over getting homework done, getting ready for soccer, and life in general. I'm done! I'm pooped - parenting sucks. And I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE. Dinner is leftover's the soccer bus leaves at 6:30. I'm going to my room.

Yes - husband MY room. You are not invited. sighhhhhhhhhh.

I pick up concussion child from Cross Country practice praying that not getting a phone call was a good sign. My usually bouncy, rambunctious, energetic child saunters over to the car. Crap. I ask tentatively, "How did it go? How do you feel?"
AWESOME I rocked the sprints I beat Jacob then I .......

Thank you Jesus. Score one for me - it only took till Thursday. Night.
Now I can ignore the remainder of the screaming, yelling, and gnashing of teeth that I have yet to endure this evening and go to bed with the satisfaction that just once this week, I got something right.

Our year begins.....

So for a woman who didn't want to work full-time.....I've been working Full-Time! I have been subbing non-stop since the second week of school which means that everything else is falling through the cracks. Very large cracks. Craters actually. More like the Grand Canyon.

The kitchen is rolling along but it would be really great if I could be home long enough to pick out some counter tops and get those ordered. I joked about it not being done until Christmas - now I'm not joking. If I don't get those ordered they won't be here until Christmas.

My husband was very upset when people joked to him about how long it would take, now he's just upset because they were right.  He has tried his best to keep it together during the construction. But between spending large amounts of money and living in chaos and clutter he's had his months of losing it. I meant moments. Moments honey, sorry for the typo. (It wasn't really. wink. wink.)

The boys are doing their best to adjust to the new routine and new school year - especially since I keep telling them I'll be home today - then I am not. The cupboard isn't bare yet, but it's hard to make lunch with olives, peanut butter, and left over mashed potatoes. If you think that's bad don't ask what we are eating for dinner it would make Martha Stewart call child protective services.

My seventh grader is now getting up at 6 a.m. Well, sometimes he is getting up at 6 a.m. If he is at all like his mother (yes) there is never any getting use to waking up before God. He is playing Soccer, running Cross Country, and playing the Baritone Saxaphone in band. I am taken aback at how much he is changing everyday in appearance, mood, and smell.  But the very best parts of him are just getting bigger and better.

His Cross Country times are getting progressively worse as the season goes on but he hasn't noticed. The last race he stopped to help a runner from another team who fell into a ditch scraping up his knee pretty badly and hitting his head on a tree root. The kid even said"Dude what are you doing keep running!" He was too worried and stayed a few more seconds until an adult got there. I can't fault him for that.  I love how everyone gets a cheering section even the last man in. Sounds like Cross Country fits him well.

He is most excited about playing the "bari". The school actually had one for us to keep at home for extra practice. Oh joy-Thanks school! I love the way he lights up when he talks about music. It's the only class he looks forward to this year. I can't tell if that's because the content in his classes is getting more intense, or the personalities are getting more interesting but that 's a story for another day. I warned him that Junior High is a unique experience.  I'm glad that he has band.

My little man is actually doing great this year compared to the past.  He was really excited to have one of the teachers that his older brother had and I think that has made all the difference.  He has still forgotten several things, hates having early soccer practice, and really feels that this school thing gets in the way of his social life, but this is WAY better than dragging him out the door everyday.

Part of the reason he may be loving this year's new routine is that he has mom all to himself in the morning.  That's usually when I get the sub calls too and he loves that I always ask him if I should take the job or not - then he critiques my outfit.  Also when I get to sub at his school we can eat lunch together. He thinks he is hot stuff marching into the office to eat with me while his buddies head to the cafeteria. I learned a long time ago with this one - it's all about the cool.

Just yesterday I got a call to sub and I told him I would love to, it was at his school, but I had such a bad headache.  He said, 'Mom. You're the nurse- if your head hurts just lay down!" Why didn't I think of that.

My little one is so much like his dad. I see it more and more everyday.  He lives freely and loves fiercely, standing up for his brother one minute and tearing into him the next. His most commonly screamed phrase is "I just want to talk and no one ever lets me!" There is a lot going on inside that little man of mine and he wants you to know every bit of it.  What's funny, but not really funny 90% of the time, is how those feelings come out.  Like the other day when he had to tell his dad the same thing three times.  When my husband asked a fourth time something like, What are you doing now?! His response was "Buying you a hearing aid because you are DEAF!" I laughed.

Even though the school year has started off with more than enough excitement for one family and I can't get a break from work....everyone is healthy. KNOCK ON WOOD!! and that's worth more than gold. What else can I ask for.

You What?!

Yes, Ladies and Gentleman I turned down a Full-time job.....
It's fine, I'll wait. It's nothing I haven't heard already.

For once in my life I trusted my gut. That's all there is to it. I trusted my gut and said "No thank you."

So what now ted??

Stay tuned......

Look where you are going!

What a simple phrase. What a profound concept. Why is it so hard to do?

Look where you are going! If you don't want to fly the plane into the ground look into the clouds. It's more than words for a pilot to live by, they are words we could all live by - Look Where you are going!

Look where you are going! "At some point you have to face your own life and want to make changes. That is the definition of adulthood"* Look where you are going!

Look where you are going! When you learn to ride a motorcycle they tell you to look through the turn or past the bump in the road, keep your eyes focused ahead of you at all times don't look down at the wheel. Look where you are going!

Look where you are going! It is a simple phrase but a profound concept that I find so very hard to do. Maybe I should buy a motorcycle? Or learn to fly a plane? Or maybe just keep trying to Look Where I am going!

*Rebecca Coursey

Thank you for sharing your gifts of healing with me.