Kindered Spirits

I know you are never suppose to play favorites, but there is a 5 year-old boy it the neighborhood who is the red haired middle child. Need I say more! (I was the red haired middle child;-)

This kid cracks you up from the get go. His mom was telling stories the other day and these are two of my favorites. It seems that everyday at Pre-school when they say the Pledge of Allegiance, as soon as they are finished he yells, "Play Ball!" Because of course- that is the very last line of the Pledge of Allegiance.

The other day at his soccer game after running up and down the field blowing her kisses and giving her the big boy guns (that is what we call it when our boys don't want to kiss us in public and instead you get two finger guns and a wink) he said to her, "Mom, did you enjoy the game?"
To which she replied, "Yes. I love to watch you and your brother play."
"Yeah, you got it good Mom. You get to see the whole game, I have to keep running up and down the field and I don't get to enjoy any of it."

Love this kid!!

Who are you praying to?

There are moments in my life that have made me absolutely believe in a power greater than me. Mother earth, the Almighty, the gods, whoever you pray to, most of us believe in something bigger.

Funny thing- for me growing up that "thing" was God of the Catholic variety. So he took on the figure of a man basking in bright white light seated on a throne. In college as I started to meet other people and explore new ideas I toyed with the idea of figures, a sort of consortium of deities. Allah, Buddha, Messiah, and so on. Now that I am a mother, the figure has taken on the face of a woman. A mother.

I hang on to those moments when I am sure that the higher power I feel is a kind and gentle woman, perhaps sitting by the hearth, feeling the warmth on her face and hands as she sews the fabric that is our lives. Pushing us as if on the head of that needle threw the fabric, this way and that. A chance encounter, a sudden change of mind, or a total shift in direction makes the quilt that will tell our story.

There are too many moments when I curse the sky not sure where the higher power is at- if there at all. Why do children die? Why does war happen? Why do loved ones get cancer? That to me is the act of a cruel God, not a gentle woman. No woman would let you harm a innocent child, nor take her son to war. No woman would create cancer, there is enough suffering in motherhood already.

Some days are just like this I guess, you can't seem to get a hold of anything that makes you feel grounded. It all seems to short, fleeting, temporary. It is days like this that I can not seem to get motivated to do much more than hug my kids, and pray, that God truly is a gentle woman.

Granimal Parenting

Those of us of a certain generation - and I will not say which - can remember Granimals. The wonderful line of clothing that made shopping simple. Pick two pink hippos,top and bottom, and you had a matching outfit. I was all over that. No fussing around, no difficult decisions, if I needed school clothes I picked a couple of pink hippos and a blue rhino or two and we were done.

That's what I want in a parenting book. Gotta a strong willed child? Choose the Green Elephant. Gotta shy child? Choose the yellow giraffe. I think the reason there is no consistency in my parenting is because every book and everyone has told me something else.

To get children out of your bed try www.empoweringparents.com, or maybe a 21-day program by Lawrence PhD there is even help at the Berkley parenting network. Have a strong-willed child? The expert is James Dobson who wrote the infamous book, "How to parent the strong willed child". But first you should test your child at www.applest.com so that you know just how strong willed they are. God forbid you search- How to get your kids to listen- one search turned up 361,005,251 hits! and the first website is for none other than my arch nemesis Super Nanny.

Do you see why I want Granimals!! I'm over informed. My mom says I over think everything, maybe I do. But I still think it would easier if it were just pink hippos and green elephants.

Airplane instructions

After yet another ridiculous fight with my husband I am up at 2:00 in the morning trying to sort out my feelings. That's when it dawns on me - Do you know who the flight attendants are talking to when they give the instructions: "Place the mask over your face first in order to help anyone else around you."

Mothers!

Otherwise we would instinctively put the mask on our child, and elderly seat mate or even a dumb ass husband Fight or no Fight before we would put it on ourselves. What is wrong with us?

Why are we fighting, forget it! You don't really want to know and honestly I can't even remember now what the original issue was because four hours later I'm now pissed about a damn oxygen mask.

If you are married you know, we all fight over stupid things, for stupid reasons, and at the most stupid times. Generally it has to do more with stress, or kids, or lack of sleep - from stress and kids. But mostly it has to do with sex.

Twenty three million Viagra commercials later you would think they could come up with something for women. Do you know what the flight attendants should say: "In case of an emergency, should the oxygen mask drop from the ceiling, place it securely on your wife first if you ever want to get laid again."

This is my Meadowview Drive

Sometimes after the boys are asleep as I am wandering through the house picking up toys, closing curtains, and locking doors I realize this is my Meadowview Drive.

My parents built the house I grew up in the year I was born. They moved in when I was maybe six-months old and that was our house until I was out of college. We moved into this house when our oldest was three months old, and I wonder is this his Meadowview Drive?

It's not the perfect house. The stairs are too narrow, the bathrooms too small, the kitchen could use an update. But so could Meadowview Drive. What can't be remodeled are all the memories of playing in the basement, my closet, and the big fir tree in the corner of the yard. All the Christmases, birthdays, and special occasions that were held at Meadowview Drive.

In these turbulent times it sometimes feels like a tornado whipping up around me ready to rip my world apart leaving shreds of anxiety, chaos, and doubt. I wander through the house picking up toys, closing curtains, locking doors, and praying - that this is their Meadowview Drive.

"I'm leaving in my mini-van"

sing to the tune of John Denver's Leaving on a Jet Plane...

Forget the bags I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside the door
They didn't even hear me say good-bye
It's barely dawn still early morn
Their all screaming like big bull horns
Already I'm so fed-up I could cry

So miss me and smile for me
Tell me you'll remember me
Don't hold me now! Please just let me go!
Cause I'm leaving in my Mini-van
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, Baby! Watch me go!!

So maybe I have let you down
I'm still your mom- I cart you round
I ask you, Don't that mean a thing?
Every place I go I'll think of you.
and I'll be saying, WAHOO! WAHOO!
When I come back you'll be old enough to drink.

So miss me and smile for me
Tell me you'll remember me
Don't hold me now! Please just let me go!
Cause I'm leaving in my Mini-van
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, Baby! Watch me go!!

Now the time has come to go away
I look back and hear you say,
MOOOMMM He's touching me!
I dream about the days to come
When I will be here all alone
And all the times that you will hear me say.....

So miss me and smile for me
Tell me you'll remember me
Don't hold me now! Please just let me go!
Cause I'm leaving in my Mini-van
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, Baby! Watch me go!!