My Mother's Day gift

Last night I had some errands to run and my now eleven year-old son needed some clothes for camp.  It is a tradition in our school district that the 5th grade goes for three days to an outdoor adventure and leadership camp.

So we rounded up our library books that needed to be returned and the mail that needed to be sent and took off.  After we hit the library and the post office we headed to the second hand store.  The goal was to find some cargo shorts perfect for muddy hikes and camp fire nights.

We scored cargo shorts, a rain coat, and even a Nike dry fit shirt that was "epic". At least I think that's what he said.  You never know how much is genetic until you take your child shopping.  He didn't want to try anything on, and anything we looked at had to be in one of three colors. Maybe two: khaki or grey. Yep, that's my son.

Twenty minutes into the shopping trip and we are checked out and done, it took us longer to drop off the library books and the mail.  When we get back in the car my son says to me, "Can we go get ice cream?" Oh, so here it is. I said, "I don't know buddy, we don't really need ice cream."

That's when my son pulled out all the stops.  "I brought my wallet Mom, I'm buying.Please!"

How do I say no to that offer and that face. Ok. But don't tell your brother.

He chose the local ice cream chain and as I head in that direction he is asking what our tax rate is and how much I think he will need.  We pull in and both of us are already salivating over this months mystery flavor-could it be salted caramel?  Thank goodness there was a small line because both of us changed our minds 10 times. Do we share one? Do we each try something different? Do we take the mystery chance?

Meanwhile he is asking me where to find the prices on the menu and how do I know for sure what things cost.  We each ordered something different and I held his cone while he paid the high school student working the counter.  Before we stepped away I asked him if he was going to tip them. He smiled nervously and shook his head NO.

We went outside with our ice cream cones to enjoy them and the beautiful evening.  He asked me how to tip them. I explained that this isn't like a waiter, there is a tip jar on the counter and I usually throw in a dollar.

Lots of people came and went, a classmate, a teacher, a neighbor.  He laughed and said to me, "It seems like everyone is getting ice cream tonight." Now I do want to go on record, I did say thank you to him in the store, but that genetics thing crept up again. Like his father does when he takes us out, he said "Your Welcome  Mom" I think 5 times.

On the way home when I thought he was about to say Your Welcome again and I was truly starting to get a little frustrated he threw me for a complete loop. 

He said, "Thanks Mom".
"For what," I said, "You paid."
"For being the first girl I took out for ice cream."

I just smiled. I didn't want to cry, and I was afraid if I opened my mouth all that would come out would be tears.  I took a very deep breathe and said, "Your Welcome."

What greater honor could I get this Mother's Day - than to be my son's first date. The pleasure was all mine.

Spring Break 2014 - CANCELLED

Day Two and I have already locked both boys in their rooms and cancelled Spring Break.

I can't take it anymore. The fighting, the arguing, the complaining, the whining, the not listening.
And that's just MY behavior.

Anyone not on Spring Break this week? WHERE! I'm enrolling my kids on Monday.

I had a heart to heart with both boys last night before bed and told them that this behavior needs to stop because they are ungrateful and rude. It didn't stop.

What will matter most? What do I fight to nip in the bud, and what do I say let go? Reports from neighbors, teachers, other parents are that they are great kids. So why are they such A-hole's at home! And please do not tell me it is because this it their "soft place to land" - Does it sound like I am soft?

I'm a bitch. All the time. I hate listening to myself.  There is no amount of Time-out for this one - I should be in Mommy Jail. Hell yes I want them to behave outside my house, but damn'it - what's wrong with behaving indie it too!!

What I am trying to figure out is what is at the root of my problem.  Is it the boys behavior? Is it my childhood haunts? Or is it just me? period. Am I the problem.

Some start to Spring Break.....can't wait for Summer vacation.

Am I doing the right thing??

I think that's enough said.....if you are a parent how many times a day do you ask yourself this-
Am I doing the right thing?

I can't wait until someone writes the rule book.

Back to work off to the Funny Farm!

So much for dipping my toe in the work pool.  I jumped in the deep end and this last week put me over the edge.  Not only did I work all week but went straight into a weekend of complete chaos.

Friday work till 4 p.m. still need dinner and a gifts for the Birthday parties.
7 year-old has a sleepover Birthday party starting at 6:30 pm.
10 year-old has a soccer tournament game at 6:15 and you must be on the field 30 minutes prior and it takes 25 minutes to get there.
10 year-old was invited last minute to a Birthday laser tag party that starts at 7 p.m.

Saturday husband works 8 am to 5:30 pm
10 year-old has another soccer tournament game at 9:15 arrive 30 minutes prior and it takes 20 minutes to get there.
7 year-old sleepover party finishes up at 10 a.m. (when I will be on a soccer field) so neighbor is picking him up.
After soccer race home pick-up 7 year-old feed 10 year-old
10 ten-year old has a 12:00 pm. Basketball game

7 year-old has 1-3:30 pm. Roller skating party
Dad had a break and got a ride to the basketball game now we need to find everyone lunch, get dad back to work, get to next birthday party, and stop at the grocery store because we are out of everything at home.
Pick up Jimmy John's and Skyline and one won't eat- drop everyone off stop at their places and go to the store.
Get a call that 7 year-old is hiding in the bathroom at the roller rink because his "peepee" hurts.
Race out of the store and back to the roller rink pick up the 7 year-old.
Get home unpack groceries feed the ten year-old.

Get a shower before husband and I will leave to see Wicked at 8:00 pm. downtown
Ten year-old will get picked up for the next soccer game at 5:45 pm.
Husband walks in at 5:45 pm.
Babysitter walks in at 6:00 pm. with her curling wand
(to do 40 year-old woman's hair-yes I gave her a big tip)

Grab salad and hummus at home since we have no time for adult dinner before the performance.
Stop for chocolate before we go and ice cream shop is packed. We are now running late.
Get to parking garage downtown and can not find husband's wallet. (My fault)
Find wallet. (His doing of course)

Make it through to intermission no problem.
Both yawning our heads off after intermission.
Come home, wake sitter, pay her well, hit the hay.

Sunday time change - oh yippee.
Husband gone by 7:00 am. to get a ride in
Children up by 8:00 am. to watch TV
Mom thinking I had a moment - shit Time Change!!!
Made our Sunday staple of scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes, toast, juice and shove it at everyone and scream them out the door.

12:00 pm.  basketball game parents/kids
Clean up the kitchen, get dressed, grab camera, and head off to see the end of the basketball game and get the 7 year-old who does not want to go to next event.
Ten year-old has last soccer tournament game at 2:15 pm. must arrive 30 minutes prior and it is a 30 minute drive.
(ps. THEY WON!!!)

Take the 7 year-old home to play outside as I sit in a chair feeling like I have been hit by a truck.
4:00 - 6:00 pm meet basketball team for season wrap-up dinner
7:00 pm. return home to start homework
9:00 pm. Mom works again tomorrow every one to bed - OR ELSE.

Monday work till 3:45 pm. take 10 year-old to Band concert rehearsal take 7 year-old home to find a friend and figure out dinner.
Back to band rehearsal, back to 7 year-old, back to dinner, and homework.

May I please have a drink now?? Do you know what I say to women's lib - SCREW YOU!
There is nothing liberating about a woman working - just more working.....but I'm too tired to rant.
I say we just all quit and see what happens, are you in?

WOW...I got it!

I have a very good friend who- we not only share the same the birthday but the same prayer to the universe that when we need a sign- it should be a billboard.  We are not good at subtle. Oh heck, let's call a spade a spade we are not good at signs that's why it has to be pretty clearly written to us and for us.

So when I wrote that blog about The Rule Follower....
and the next day this was the Quote of the Day in my Inbox

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
― Mother Teresa

I had to look up to the sky with a smile and say, Ok I got it.
Thanks for the billboard.

The Rule Follower......

Do you know one? Are You one? We all have one....the rule follower.  They are born, not made much to the Military's chagrin.  People can be a rule follower, but deep down still not be a rule follower.


Isn't that was school was, for those of us of a certain age? Come in, say the pledge, sit down, shut up, do what I say NOT what I do, stand in line, sit still, eat your vegetables.....we had parent's who were Baby Boomer's not Flower Children so we were expected to follow the rules. All the rules.


Take a look at the book The Help.  Why was it such a huge success? Because they broke all the rules! And what do we really want to do - Break all the rules!


Is anyone confused yet? Good. Because I know that I am. Totally. But I just now figured out that I have no clue what I am doing.  I need to know the rules.  What are the rules of civility, humanity, of this game called life that we are all playing?


That is why I have spent my whole life feeling Socially retarded. Because I am. I am still trying to follow rules that nobody else is - What?!


When I was young they said don't talk about other people it is hurtful and rude and a sin. OK got it.
Then my parent's were talking about how my brothers friend had that awful red hair and was terribly bow legged.  When my brother and his friend asked me what mom and dad were talking about I said, "Rick's awful red hair and his funny walk."
Then I got in trouble. Wait? What? You are not suppose to talk about people right?
What you taught me was it's ok to talk about people, just do it behind their back.


When I was young they said do not cuss it is awful and bad and a sin. Ok Got it.
Then Dad would get mad at the drop of a hat and cussed like a drunk sailor. So I guess I repeated a few of these choice words in church and I got in trouble. Wait? What?
What you taught me was it's ok to cuss just not on Sunday in church, or in front of Mom and Dad.


There were lots and lots of rules and everyday I tried to get the list right - just right. Perfectly right. Because I am a rule follower and that is what we do - right?  We are ALL rule followers after all, right?


See this is where the world has messed with me for years and years.  I thought we were all playing by the same rules. And the only one that stayed the same day after day, month after month, year after year was:


Always treat other people the way you want them to treat you...
So silly me, I thought we were all on the same page.
But a couple of years ago I heard a teacher talking to a group of girls.  She had overheard them making fun of a classmate.  When she called them on it they all said, "She started it. She made fun of our project in front of the boys." That is when the teacher added the most valuable phrase ever to the Golden Rule.


Always treat other people the way you want to be treated...no matter how they are treating you.
WOW. OK. Now I got it.  Not everyone is going to play by the rules but no matter what- I will. Or die trying. I promise.
These are my rules but as I am only human, remember these could change, before I am even done typing. In fact they already have a little.


I will always treat you with love and respect except when you have canceled my flight and lost my luggage, hurt my children, or I am wicked hungry. (then you are taking your life in your own hands)


I will not set out to hurt anyone or anything physically, emotionally, or mentally. I will use my powers for good but if they go awry please tell me right away so that I can make it right. Or at least apologize.


I promise that I am working on controlling my temper, but I haven't mastered it yet. I have to tell you - as a rule follower nothing makes me hotter than a non-rule follower. And the worst of all is a non-rule follower that hurts someone I love.  Oh - those people have a death wish.


I will give you the benefit of the doubt over and over and over again.  Being only human myself I will give you a mile, and a half. Ok, six. But there will come a day when you will have taken advantage one to many times and I will be forced to walk away. I may not say goodbye, but I certainly will not let you continue to walk all over me. It hurts.


So, Ok. I think that is enough for tonight. Being a bear of very little brain I think I may have exploded my thinker.